Mary, my cousins' grandmother on their dad's side of the family, passed away. This woman was 96 and had led a very full life. She was a mother of four, a grandmother of 16, and a great-grandmother to 21. She lived in the same house for 54 years, up until about 2 years ago, when she moved in with one of her daughters. Point is, she was a well-loved woman. She was also "old-school" Catholic, which meant an open casket at the wake, with prayers, followed by a full mass at church the next morning, procession to the cemetery, etc. I am all for people getting the... end... that they desire, but there is something so creepy to me about the open casket.
The family did a beautiful job of displaying photos of this woman's life. There were multiple collages and photo albums, displays of wedding pictures and holding (many) newborns for the first time. I soaked them up. I just do not understand why that is not enough. Why would we not want to remember our loved ones as they were, happy in life, instead of the way they are now? I guess some like tradition and others like closure, but I was happy to hear that none of my loved ones want this type of event.
ANYWAY, the officiant (pastor? priest? I never know.) who led the prayers talked a lot about how we should view this event as a celebration of a life well-lived. That we should not wear black, a color of sorrow, but that we should wear joyful colors. I LOVED this sentiment, but good luck making progress on that change. He spoke about how Mary would go to Heaven because she was a woman of service. She served her community, her church, her family. I loved how he spoke about how important being a mom is: that no one is ever "just" a mom, she is also a provider, a teacher.
I guess the part that bothered me was the discussion on heaven versus hell. It was said that Mary would go to heaven for her service. If there is such a place... and I do believe there is "somewhere," I just do not know *what* exactly... I am certain that she is there. She was just a lovely woman! The stereotypical perfect grandmother. The officiant spoke of sheep and goats and how Mary was a sheep and would therefore find eternal life. I guess I need to look more into where these analogies come from because my mind does not necessarily attach anything positive to being termed a "sheep." And what is so terrible about goats, anyway? This was the kicker though, apparently you can be a good person and still be a "goat" if you lack service to the church, if you have not been baptized, if you do not dedicate yourself to serving Jesus. Really? Because one chooses not to participate in an organized religion, one is relegated to the same fate as truly evil folk? I have a problem with this notion. Or is this the circles of hell concept, where "minor goats" will have a very different experience from "major goats." I have no idea. Again, I have not done enough research on the topic yet, but these were my thoughts coming out of the wake.
I am still thinking a lot about many different religious topics lately, despite my lack of posting. I am reading and thinking. Things have been a bit crazy the last month and a half and they are bound to settle down soon. Right?! We shall see. For now, I am going to strive to be the very best person, mom, wife, employee, daughter, that I can be.... if that makes me a goat, so be it.
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