Things they never told you about having a second baby.

Just because you know what to expect from labor does not make it easier.

You will wonder, after a second unplanned c-section, if everything you are feeling is normal. Mostly because, just like everyone says you will, you have forgotten the bad stuff from the first time around. You will doubt you will ever feel normal again. (I am mostly there!)

You will wonder how you could possibly love *another* little person as much as you love your first. If you will love the new one in the same way. Yes and no. Your heart will grow, grinch-like, and you will love your new baby just as much, but differently, because they are a different person from your first.

You will also wonder if you did the right thing by having another, depriving your first of all your focus. That fear will be wiped clean the first time you witness your oldest kiss your baby on the head and say 'love you too.' Oh sure, he has also been squeezed too hard, unintentionally hit with things (and I am certain will also be hit intentionally at some point), and been told to go away, but that one kiss confirms that these kids will love each other. Like brothers should.

Your first illness as a whole household will make you question yourself again. Being sick and having to take care of two sick kids is the pits.

You will realize that newborns are EASY compared to toddlers. Seriously! Newborns do not need entertainment. They need to eat, sleep, and poop. Literally. When I had my first I remember being so overwhelmed. Now I am still overwhelmed, but I realize how portable the newbie is. Just haul him along! He (probably) will not complain.

You will stress a lot less about your second and that is a very good thing. Just go with the flow.

You will love and hate moments of your life and that is okay. You may wish for your children to just go away at times. Time will pass ridiculously slowly and ridiculously fast at the same time. And it will all be amazing.

Week 38.

Dear.... let's face it, you are off the charts when it comes to fruits and vegetables... it's past time to give up those descriptors and just call it like it is... predicted-to-be-surprisingly-large-baby,

We made it.  It's Week 38 (almost 39 now!) and today is my last day of work.  Honestly, I was hoping to not make it this long.  But it's okay.  It's giving me a chance to wrap things up, clean things up, provide some (temporary) closure.  I have a return date set.  Seems so far away now, but I'm sure it will be here before I know it.  The question that remains to be answered is in what capacity I will be returning...  but that can wait. 

Monday we had another doctor visit.  Last time she had suggested another ultrasound this week since I'm still,again,always measuring ahead.  So we got to sneak another peek at you, wiggling around as usual.  Everyone always seems surprised at how much moving you do in there.  And, after the size prediction, I'm surprised you HAVE any room to move in there!  By ultrasound measurements and some fancy calculations, the estimate is that you are 9 lbs. 14 oz.  I don't know what to say to that except that I'm *really* hoping that this is an overestimate of at least one pound.  Ultrasounds are known to be +/- 1 pound.  Again, let's not talk about the possibility of it being off the other way... 

The good news is that there is still plenty of fluid in there for you.  My blood pressure and everything else looks okay.  Even my swelling has gone back down.  So while the doc was somewhat concerned about the size estimate, there was no immediate panic.  We're just hoping that you decide to make your arrival soon, VERY soon.  Or else there might be talk of forcing you out.  I don't want that, little man.  So, we've started to try some more gentle approaches to getting you to cooperate...  Your dad has been feeding me spicy foods.  We've gone for some walks.  I've been bouncing on my ball like crazy.  And have been trying to make use of some acupressure points that we learned in our birthing class.  

I'll admit, your surprising size does have me a bit worried.  But mostly because I want to try to avoid as much medical intervention as possible.  If you don't come soon, I don't think that will be possible.  It may be impossible already, who knows?  Don't be stubborn like your momma and just come join us already!  :)

Your dad and I had a strange moment last night where we realized that one day soon, we will come home with a baby and our lives will completely change.  It's not like we didn't know that was coming of course.  Afterall, we have spent months preparing for your arrival!  It's just a strange thing...  it has been just the two of us for so long.  Soon we'll not only have a little stranger living with us, but we'll also be responsible for him.  We'll be "parents."  That is too strange!

That said, we are ready.  We are ready to meet you.  To bring you home.  To do our very best to take care of you and provide you with all that you need/want in life.  Our families too...  are so, so excited.
Baby, don't keep us waiting much longer.  

Full disclosure: third trimester addendum

I've now officially reached 37 weeks--full term.

Let me tell you something that no one told me: the end can be even worse than the beginning.  I know how lucky I was to not have morning sickness or really significant symptoms early on.  Now I'm kind of wondering how anyone does this more than once.  It seems like if pregnancy doesn't get you in the beginning, it gets you in the end.

About a week ago, I started sleeping in our sofa recliner.  I cannot sleep on my sides anymore.  Getting up from that position causes such extreme pain--it's all in the hips and ligaments.  Plus my hips pop something awful if I turn over.  Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I move from the recliner to the sofa for a couple hours.  But even there, I am sleeping semi-upright.  He says he misses me, but I bet my husband secretly enjoys having the bed to himself.  :)

Swelling is becoming a more significant issue.  Yesterday, for the first time, I was unable to get my wedding rings on.  To this point I had had a few episodes of foot/ankle swelling, but typically only at the end of the day and it would go away by morning.  This morning, my right ankle was already swollen.  Why only the right?  Dunno.  But walking around all day on it did not help.  It's puffy and sore and there's nothing I can really do about it.

All the movements that previously entertained and amused may suddenly become painful.  Oh, it's still fun to see your stomach moving on its own.  But, those little arms and legs are powerful enough now to hurt.  And bladder and cervix kicks are fun too.

The good news is that by now your baby has probably dropped lower into your pelvis.  This makes breathing easier, but sitting may be difficult because your belly is pushing itself onto your lap.  You may find yourself sitting like a guy--knees spread wide.  You also may be hitting your own belly with your knee while going up stairs.  Fun.  Maybe this is just me since I'm measuring so giant, I dunno.  My belly is a network of stretch marks now.  And somewhere along the lines, when I wasn't paying attention, my belly button definitely became an outtie.  I'm also starting to outgrow my maternity pants.  That can't be a good sign.

So, there you have it.  More fun from the third trimester.  I hear it's all worth it though.  :)  I can't wait to meet this little wiggle monster.

Cloth Diapering: The Newborn Stash--AIOs and Pockets

Mmkay.  Now that I've covered prefolds and covers, it's time to delve even deeper into the world of cloth diapers. 

When I mentioned to my family that we would be cloth diapering, prefolds are exactly what came to their minds.  Now, the prefolds may not have changed much since "back in the day" but the covers sure have.  There will not be any rubber pants on my baby's tush. 

There are other diapers though, "fancy" cloth diapers, if you will, that will blow your parent's minds.  They are absorbent, adjustable, work just like a disposable (just throw it in the wash instead of the trash when it's dirty) and come in great colors and adorable patterns.  I know when my parents first saw them, they were very impressed.  They are still apprehensive about actually *using* them though.  We'll have to see if we can change that... 

These are the newborn "fancy" diapers that I have in my stash. 

First, the All-in-ones.  These diapers are the most like disposables in that all you do is put them on, remove them when dirty, wash, and they're ready to go again.  The interiors have all the absorbancy you need without having to stuff any pockets.  That's the theory anyway.  They will be tested sometime this month...  :)

This is a Grovia brand newborn all-in-one (AIO). 



Isn't it cute?!  And here's the interior...



That flap of material is a sewn-in soaker for extra absorbancy.  It's attached on one end only so it's easier to clean, but doesn't get lost in the wash.  Hurrah!  I love these and hope they work well!

Next we have Kissaluvs newborn AIO dipe.



Notice the snap down on the front for the umbilical stump.  The interior on these is SO soft.

Now for a pocket diaper--the Happy Heinys Mini.



Yes, I did get the skulls print, thank you.  The snaps in the front are to adjust the rise of the diaper and these have the aplix (velcro) closure.  As I mentioned before, I'm okay with velcro at the little baby stage--I've been warned that older babies can and will start unfastening the aplix themselves at a certain age.  Which can lead to big messes.  Everywhere.  Anyway, this is NOT an AIO diaper, it is a pocket diaper, which means that it must be stuffed with inserts in order to bring up the absorbancy level and make it usable.  Here's an interior shot...



As you can see, it doesn't look very cushy.  That's because there aren't any inserts in it yet.  An insert is just a rectangle of material, typically multiple layers of material, that you stuff into that pocket on the diaper.  Most pocket brand diapers come with an insert made of microfiber, but you can buy all sorts of different ones.  There are cotton, bamboo and hemp inserts as well.  The plus to pockets is that they are completely customizable.  Need a little extra absorbancy up front?  You can do that. The downside is the inserts need to be removed when you wash the diapers and then you need to re-stuff them before using them again.

There are also some diapers that combine the best of both worlds.  AIOs with pockets!

The Tots Bots Easy Fit Tiny Fit falls into this category.



This is an AIO diaper in that it has an insert that is sewn INTO a pocket at one end.  That means that the insert agitates out by itself in the wash, but remains attached so you don't lose it, then you just stuff it back in to reuse it.  But it also means that you can add another insert into that pocket if you need more absorbancy.  Brilliant.

I also managed to snag a couple of the notoriously popular and hard to buy Ragababe brand Easy AIO newborn diapers. 





Pretty, huh?  Now these are an AIO, but they too have a pocket that can be stuffed with the included insert if you need even more absorbancy.  Maybe for overnights?  I love that concept.


So, there you have it.  That's my complete newborn stash.  I have no idea how well any of these will work yet.  I have no idea how long any of these will fit either.  But I do know that most of the one-size diapers I have purchased won't fit the typical newborn.  Of course, I don't know if my newborn will be "typical" either.  But, for now, the plan is to use these "fancy" diapers along with the prefolds and covers until our little man loses his umbilical stump and puts some weight on.   And then you'll get a whole 'nother post on the One-size diapers that I've chosen to use that should carry us through potty-training. 

I'm so excited to start using these!

Week 36.

Dear Andre the Giant, pineapple, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, crenshaw melon,

Baby, you are still measuring big, but you are a wiggling man and the doctor says that means you're strong and healthy.  For that I am most thankful, even if carrying you around is starting to exhaust me.  :)

There has been a flurry of activity in the last several weeks.  Well, mostly by other people (especially your Dad) because I'm just to darn tired lately.  You now have a nursery!  The furniture all arrived this past weekend.  Your dad had finished painting by then, but also put up new window shades.  Even your Oma and Opa sorry, not Opa, he won't go by that name, Ken! (maybe he'll be a pop-pop or something fun???) got in on the action by helping install a new ceiling fan.  Once the furniture was in we were finally able to unpack all the goodies that we brought home from our two showers.  I *thought* we didn't have that much clothes... boy, was I wrong!

I have been helping where I can.  I've been washing your clothes and prepping the cloth diapers.  Organizing your books on your bookshelf.  I also built your swing and activity mat during my restless evening hours.  Seriously... I don't know what it is about the hours of ~7 pm to 10 pm, but I just canNOT sit still then at all.

We finished up our Bradley classes for labor preparation.  I guess that mean we're as ready as we'll ever be.  :)  I am hopeful that we will get the natural birth that we so desire, but also know that things are unpredictable and that plan could change.  At the very least I hope to avoid induction at all costs and hope that you will make your arrival when you are good and ready.  Both your dad and I feel that we are better educated and better prepared to deal with any situations that may arise.  And that is a good thing.

Last night we took a newborn care class as well.  It was a lot of things that we already knew, but even a few new tidbits of safety and care information made it worth while.  Plus, your Dad got to drive to the hospital to practice one more time before The Big Day.

Halloween 2011 has come and gone.  We did put up decorations, but didn't celebrate/enjoy the season nearly as much as we typically do.  It's our favorite holiday, you see, and I hope it will be your favorite someday as well.  I can't wait until next year when we can pick out a costume for you.  Take you to the pumpkin patch.  Carve pumpkins.  You could even go trick or treating with your cousins!  Oh man, Halloween is just going to get better. 

This Sunday will mark 37 weeks.  You will be officially "full term."  We're ready to meet you, kiddo.  No rush.  But don't make me wait too long... those doctors can get antsy and they might want to evict you.  Until then, take it easy on my bladder, okay?

Keep growing, baby!  Get stronger, baby.

Cloth Diapering: The Newborn Stash--Prefolds and Covers

Right, so, I've been meaning to write a post for awhile on the cloth diaper stash that I have built for the newborn phase.  Newborns are tricky.  You don't know what size they're going to be and all but the biggest are too small to fit into one-size cloth diapers.  There's also the fact that they apparently excrete constantly.  "They" say that you should plan to use 12-18 diapers a day for a newborn.  Whoa.  That's a lot of dipes.  Because of this, although I said that I wouldn't ever go there, I decided to build a stash that is at least half prefold diapers with covers to go over them.  Why?  Because they're cheaper!  And apparently work really well at containing the newborn runny poos.  Yay. 

What's a prefold, you ask?  They are squares of fabric, typically cotton and/or gauze that are sewn in such a way that the middle third contains multiple layers of the fabric while the outer two thirds are thinner.  When you fold them around your baby's bottom, the middle layers are there to add extra absorbancy, while the outer layers allow for easy manipulation around baby.  When you purchase prefolds they look completely unimpressive--kind of like a tea towel, thin, not very absorbent.  It's in the wash that they magic happens.  Yes, you must wash prefolds (like most other cloth diapers) before use.  Prefolds require 4-5 washes to quilt up properly and will become even more absorbent with subsequent washes.  With each wash, they get quiltier and fluffier.  Don't believe me?  Here's a great blog post that illustrates just how much prefolds fluff up.  These are actually the same brand that I purchased from Green Mountain Diapers.  I now have 1 dozen newborn and 1 dozen small prefolds prepped and ready to go.



There are a ton of ways to fold these things.  Youtube is actually a great resource for learning how to fold prefolds.  Most people use a closure system of either old-school pin or a snappi.  A snappi is a plastic device with 3 "arms" that have little teeth on them to grab the prefold material.   We went with snappis because pins scare me.  Here's the little beast now:



And a quick image to show you how it's used:



The thing about prefolds is that one their own they are not waterproof.  That's where the diaper covers come in!  They provide a waterproof layer so baby doesn't pee all over you, or worse.  There are a TON of different companies that make diaper covers.  I did some research to find the ones that would be most likely to fit newborns, with a little bit of room to grow since I'm really only planning on using them for a couple months. 

Covers...  I have seven of them right now.  This should be more than enough since they are reusable and do not require washing after every use because (hopefully) the dirty stuff only gets on the prefold!  

I have 1 Mommy's Touch Adjustable Newborn Cover, which I mostly purchased to round out my order from Green Mountain with the prefolds.  :)  It's the only snap cover that I have, the velcro is supposed to be better for the newborn phase because it's more adjustable (and the babes aren't strong enough to rip them off yet either).  It's supposed to fit from 4-10 pounds.  On the plus side it does snap-down to avoid irritating a newborn's healing umbilical stump (as seen in the picture on the yellow cover).  On the minus side, these covers don't have leg gussets, which you'll see soon and help contain the dirty stuff.



I have 3 Rumparooz Newborn Size Diaper Covers, in aplix (velcro!).  These are supposed to fit from 4-12 pounds.  They're cute, cheap and the newborn size have the dip for the umbilical cord as well.  They also have the highly-desired leg gussets!  *gasp*  See that extra bit of material peeking out of the leg opening in the picture?  That's another layer of fabric with elastic that is there to prevent leaks.  Leaks=bad.



I have 2 Thirsties Diaper Covers in size Extra Small.  Again, in aplix.  They're supposed to fit from 6-12 pounds.  These also have gussets and a cut out for the umbilical cord.



Finally, I have 1 of the much-loved among cloth-diapering mommies Bummis Super Brite Wraps in the newborn size.  I only bought one of these because the newborn size is supposed to fit from 4-9 pounds.  Heck, at that rate I'm not sure I'll be able to use it at all!  We shall see.  These have gussets and the waterproof material on the inside is exposed, which makes them really wipe-able in between uses. 



Once diaper changes become less frequent and baby gets big enough to fit into our one-size stash, I do plan to retire the diaper covers.  The prefolds however, can remain useful as they can be used to add absorbency to other kinds of diapers.  Just tri-fold the prefold and shove it in a pocket, or lay it right inside a diaper to add a bit more oomph without adding too much bulkiness.

This has gotten really long, so I will save the other types of newborn dipes that I've purchased for another post.  Technically, between the covers and the prefolds that I have, that should be enough to go a day and a half between washes already.  But I just could not resist purchasing some of the super-easy (and super-cute) all-in-one diapers.  I figured these would also be easier for the grandparents to use so hopefully I can convince them to give it a try. 

Full disclosure: third trimester

I know, I know, I'm still *in* my third trimester.  Like I need reminding.  But I plan on doing a Full Disclosure of the labor and delivery as well, so I figured I should get this one out of the way while it's all good and fresh.  

Third trimester.  Also known as the time when you'll wonder how you could possibly get any bigger.  Babies really pack on the pounds at this stage.  As much as half a pound a week!  Your own weight gain can vary... mine has mostly leveled off for right now.  I think because I'm eating smaller more frequent snacks/meals.  That's because giant babies don't leave much room for your stomach and digestive tract.

Which means that I have had my first run-ins with acid reflux.  Eating anything a few hours before bed means I'll wake up at some point with a burning throat.  Gross.  But I need to eat!  I'm hungry...  :(  Stock up on the Tums now.

While we're talking about digestion, let me once again mention: Constipation.  Still, again, whatever.  My advice to you is this: if you feel the urge, go!  I don't care where you are; work, shopping, whatever, just go.  You'll feel better.  Be forewarned though, you may also be dealing with gas.  Like old lady, I fart every time I pee without even knowing that it's coming, gas.  So much fun!

Giant babies also don't leave a lot of room for your lungs.  You'll probably learn what it feels like to have asthma at this point.  I did.  Walking up the stairs is a huge challenge at 34 weeks.  Leaning too far back in a chair or sofa is also uncomfortable.

Other side effects of getting bigger...

~Shoes with laces are no longer your friends.  Socks are tricky too.
~Good luck shaving.
~Stretch marks.  I made it to nearly 32 weeks until I discovered my first ones.  It's true what they say, they itch.  A lot.  :(
~RBS.  Restless body syndrome.  I think this is just because it's so darn hard to get comfortable, but every night around 7 pm or so, I just start getting stir crazy and start pacing the house looking for stuff to do.  I mostly just feel the need to move around because sitting uncomfortable, but walking is tiring, so...  yeah.
~Sleep becomes a luxury.  I'm a girl that LOVES my sleep.  I would choose sleep over a lot of things in life.  Sleeping sucks right now.  Again, it's hard to get comfortable.  Turning over is not only difficult, but also somewhat painful as your belly crushes you for a moment before flopping to the other side.  And despite the fact that you're completely exhausted, you may find yourself wide awake.  At least several nights a week, I find myself awake from 1 am to 3 am.  Either tossing and turning.  Or reading a book.  Or watching TV.  Or painting plaster cast figures for the upcoming holidays.  I needed something to do with my time, okay?!

If you're like me, you always wondered why pregnant women rub their bellies so damn much.  Well, you'll do it too.  I am doing it constantly.  It's not to try to bond with baby though, at least not in my case.  In my case it's mostly to push those little hands/feet/knees/elbows back in when they jab me unexpectedly. 


Other fun things:
~your boobies may start leaking colostrum now.  Mine haven't yet... but I hear they could.
~you may be dealing with swelling in your hands and feet or everywhere!  I've had a few bouts of minor swelling in my feet after particularly long work days, but nothing serious yet.  And my wedding ring still fits!
~if this is your first, you'll probably have a baby shower or two at this point and fair warning again... 
your family and/or friends and/or family's friends will make stupid comments.  You'd think they'd know better, but they don't.  They may go on about how huge you are.  Or how terrible their child's birth was.  Or, gee, you are going to stop working, aren't you?!  Ignore them.  Smile.  Say you're undecided or thank them for sharing.  And then use your faulty bladder as an excuse to escape. 

Finally, Sex.  I won't lie, the frequency of your escapades is likely decreasing by now...  Sad, but true.  Because you're too damn exhausted and you probably feel like a blimp.  And your partner is too busy trying to pick up your slack around the house AND get everything ready for the baby's arrival on top of working a full day.  But, if you can get it, it's still good, so go for it.  :)

And that, friends, is the third trimester.  See all that you have to look forward to?!

Week 32.

Dear navel orange (times 4), jicama...  Andre...

9/30  We had our latest doctor's appointment--the one where we got to have an extra ultrasound to see how you are growing!  As usual, the ultrasound was amazing.  We saw you wiggling around and possibly sucking your thumb.  We definitely confirmed that you're a boy.  You're not shy about showing those parts, but were shy (again) about showing your face to us.  Stinker.  We did see that you have some nice plump cheeks--your dad blames me for that.  Everything looked good.  Your heartbeat was 171 beats per minute.  The technician took a bunch of measurements; your head, your belly, your femur.  Then we met with the doctor, who measured my belly.  At almost 32 weeks, I was measuring 38 weeks.  38 weeks!  I only gained a pound since my last appointment, but my belly went from 33 to 38 centimeters in 3 weeks.  Yowza.  Doc then looked over the measurements from the ultrasound and said that it was no surprise that my belly was so big since you were already measuring 6 1/2 pounds.  Now ultrasound measurements can be off as much as a pound in either direction, but even at 5 1/2 pounds, you're a pretty big boy already!!!  Average sizes at around 32 are typically 3-3 1/2 pounds.  Doc was not concerned at this point, said to just keep doing what I'm doing and we'll watch and wait. 

In the aftermath, your dad and I cracked a lot of jokes.  Calling you a linebacker in the making and Andre the Giant.  And wondering just where this giant baby came from?!  Your dad and I were in the 7 pound range at birth and you're practically there already!

But then... then the realization hit me.  The Doc is warning that you could be big.  And that freaked me out a little only because to some extent in our society these days big = c-section a lot of the time.  Surgery is the last thing I want.  We've spent so much time taking Bradley classes hoping to have a natural birth because I know that it's the best thing for both of us.  The good news is that these classes have educated both your dad and I an awful lot.  I'm most worried about the Doctors encouraging that I schedule a c-section.  They'd have to fight with me for that, unless there's a reason to keep YOU safe.  Otherwise, I'm sticking with our plan...  wait for your to announce that you're ready to join us and then do what we need to do to get both of us through this safely.  If that means the end result is a c-section, so be it.  But I don't want to go down that road until it is determined that it's medically necessary.

So, that's that.  For now, we wait.  Your job is to stay strong, keep growing and stay right where you are for as long as you can.

In lighter news, the day after our Doctor's appointment, we had another appointment.  This time, your dad and I dressed up and met with an awesome photographer at Didier Farms nearby to take maternity pictures.  We had a blast and got some really great shots to remind us of this time.  I think I'm going to get one framed for your room.



We also had our second (and last) Baby Shower, which was thrown by Gramma Hen and Nona Ludwig.  It was small, but very nice.  Every detail was coordinated, which is to be expected when your Gramma is involved.  You, of course, got some fantastic gifts.

Things to remember:
~yummy, yummy Italian food for lunch
~all the little decorated animal cakes!
~the games, especially the one with the candy bars
~receiving your cowmooflage carseat from Nona and G'pa
~receiving a music box containing your dad's baby ring from Gramma
~your first Bears outfit!
~G'pa shopped for you too
~Oma came also and got you a toy to teach you words in English and Spanish

We had a really nice time.

In the coming weeks we have a lot to do still to prepare for your arrival.  Your bedroom furniture should be here soon.  We still have lots of details to figure out though.  And I still have all your clothes and diapers to wash!  Thankfully, I know that early on you will need very little.  We'll be as ready as we can be...

Keep growing, baby.  Just not too much.

Week 30.

Dear cabbage,

heh, cabbage-head.

Today we had our first baby shower.  It was thrown by your Oma, you Aunt Cassie, your Great Aunt Ev and your GREAT-Oma.  Your dad and I had a great time and you, little one, received an incredibly generous amount of lovely gifts.  We are so lucky to have such great family and friends.

Some things to remember:

~the invitation asked guests to bring a book instead of a card, so your library just expanded rapidly!
~baby clothes are just the cutest thing... especially when there are animals on the footsies
~your Grandma Hen got your dad and I both diaper bags--your dad told me he wouldn't carry the one I picked, so you decided on a Yellow Submarine bag for himself
~your Oma bought us a glider for the nursery...I am more than a little excited about this, so comfy for those late nights
~your cousin Tyler was so excited by some of your new toys and may have given them a test run...  the whole room laughed when he exclaimed "This is Auntie Kirstie's baby's toy!"  He also happens to think that your name should be Tyler too. 
~your Great Aunt Ev made so many adorable knit clothes and decorations for you...including the cutest little aviator hat (with ear flaps!!!!) that I'm already plotting to use for your newborn photos
~your family baked the most delicious assortment of cupcakes for dessert...I had a Boston Creme and it was so YUM!
~your Auntie Cassie and Tyler picked out several outfits for you... and then along with Great Aunt Ev, purchased your stroller!
~There were several babies in attendance also...Cousin Charley (2 months old) and Bailey (4 months old) were a big hit and much to my relief managed to take some of the spotlight off of my belly.  :)

All in all, it was a lovely event.  Your family went to a lot of trouble for us.  From the delicious brunch buffet to the cupcakes to the games to the teacup and saucer favors (because a baby is brewing!)...  Too, too generous.

For my sake, there weren't too many hands grasping the belly and too many personal questions, so I didn't even get too stressed out, which was nice!

It was an even more fun weekend because Champaign girlfriend and her little one, Bailey, came to stay with us on Saturday night.  It was a bit strange having a baby in the house for the first time!  She was such a well-mannered little girl though and slept great.  Your dad and I agreed that she was so well-behaved that she was giving us the wrong impression of babies in general.  I still think my girlfriend is incredibly brave for traveling with a 4-month old, no matter how good she is!  I'm so glad she did though.  It gave us time to catch up again.  

And your dad and I were extremely pleased to see that your doggy, Lita, was so well-behaved with Bailey in the house as well.  She was very curious of the smells and sounds, but settled quickly.  She even seemed to be a bit protective of Bailey, choosing to lay down near her when possible.  As far as we know, that was her first experience with a baby!

You are one lucky kid.  Lots more fun to come in the near future as the shower for your dad's side of the family approaches.

Keep growing, baby.

Week 29.

Dear "english hothouse cucumber" cauliflower "Chinese cabbage" butternut squash,

seriously?  who comes up with these size comparisons?!  It is not helpful if I first need to find out what the vegetable actually is that I'm supposed to be comparing you to... Chinese cabbage?!  I can deal with butternut squash.  Plus, "butternut" is a pretty cute nickname!  Too bad there's a chance you're already well beyond that size...

Yes, the biggest news to report is that your dad and I went to a check up this past week.  He got to hear your heartbeat for the first time in awhile...136 beats per minute.  And wiggling all over as usual.  The doctor measured my belly too.  And found that it was bigger than anticipated!  At the time I was 28 and a half weeks along... typically the belly size in centimeters is supposed to be right on track with the number of weeks.  So I should have been 28ish centimeters.  I was 33-34.  Whoa.  Then she noticed that I was also 3 centimeters "ahead" at my last appointment.  So this is not that big of a shock.  And it could mean absolutely nothing.  You could have had a growth spurt and things will balance out now.  There could be more variation because a different doctor measured me last time.  Or maybe you were more spread out on that day.  OR... or... maybe you're a big boy!  Your dad has been excitedly telling everyone that maybe you'll arrive earlier than anticipated!  Dear boy, I hope you don't...  not that I'm not excited to meet you, but I want to make sure that you are healthy and strong when you arrive.  And your dad is anxious to finish his work on your nursery.  :)  We'll find out more about what all this means at our next appointment at the end of the month.  The doctor scheduled us for an ultrasound so we can take some measurements of YOU!  This means another chance to see you, a rare occurrence as most pregnancies go.  Of course, ultrasound measurements can also be off by some degree, so I'm not quite sure how much information this will actually provide.  But at least we'll know that you're doing well, that my fluid levels are good and we'll carry on from there.  You just keep baking!

The other news is that your mom is now another year older.  My 31st birthday came and went on the 10th.  We celebrated with your Aunt Cassie, Uncle Dan, and Tyler and Uncle Konrad and Johanna by going to the roller derby.  We had a great time grilling at the house beforehand and I think everyone was impressed by the derby itself.  On Sunday, your dad and I went to the Renegade Craft Fair in Wicker Park for the second year in a row.  Of course we purchased some things for you!  Including an orange stuffed dinosaur named "Gregor" that is made of a recycled sweater.   You'll see how much fun it is next year!  :)

Nursery progress continues!  Your dad has been SO busy getting ready for you!  Your room now has two very fun striped walls.  He thought I was crazy when I asked him about painting stripes, but I think he agrees now that they are fun and unique.  We have also ordered all the furniture and it should be here within 6 weeks or so.  Then it will start looking like a real room!

Our first baby shower is this weekend--the one that is being thrown by your Aunt Cassie and GREAT Aunt Ev.  The thought of being the center of attention is still a little bit terrifying to me.  And I know that people are going to be asking questions that I don't really care to discuss... I'm a private person most of the time so it's hard for me to imagine opening up about birth and our plans--topics that I don't really care to hear other people's opinions on.  Your mom is kind of stubborn...  I do my research, decide which options are best for me and us as a family and that's it.  I don't appreciate other people trying to convince me their way is better.  *sigh*  ANYWAY, the shower will be fun!  So many people that are looking forward to meeting you!  I just have to keep my attitude in check with my family members.  :)  Just wait until they hear we're planning on cloth diapering your adorable bum--ha!

As far as how I'm doing... I've been surprised at how much pregnancy seems to have "caught up" to me the last couple weeks.  While I may not necessarily need to sleep, my body is just physically tired all the time now.  Getting ready for work in the morning is a real challenge too--I sometimes need to take a break from drying my hair and just sit down for awhile.  Your increasing size is taking its toll on my lungs also... as I'm getting winded just heading up the stairs.  The fact that it's now allergy season isn't helping that fact either, of course.

All that and I still have to say that I'll be happy to keep you around as long as you need to/want to/should stay.
Keep growing, baby.
 

Full Disclosure: Second Trimester.

It's that time again...  This week I entered my 28th week of pregnancy, which, according to most sources, means that I am officially in the third trimester.  So, let's review the interesting occurrences of the last several months. 

~Round ligament pain.  There was about a week where I was experiencing shooting pains in my groin when walking.  Sitting was uncomfortable.  Turns out this was the dreaded "round ligament pain."  That's the ligament that supports your uterus, by the way.  As your belly and uterus grow bigger, the ligament has to stretch and it sometimes protests by causing severe pain.  Thankfully, this only lasted a week for me, but many women have pain throughout their pregnancy.  I really think the fact that I am doing yoga has helped. 

~Fluctuations in energy level.  After the first trimester I regained a lot of my energy.  But as the weeks progressed, that energy subsided again.  And then returned.  And then went away.  "They" say these down times reflect growth spurts for baby.  Who knows.  Another thing that can have an effect on your energy level is your iron level.  Thanks to heavy periods, I've had issues with iron-deficiency anemia in the past, which has meant taking iron supplements.  Everything had normalized though.  Unfortunately, babies have a habit of making LOTS of women iron-deficient anemic.  And, during the second trimester, my doctor confirmed that my levels are dropping off again.  Yay, iron supplements! 

~Constipation, again.  You know what goes hand in hand with iron supplements?  Constipation!  Yahoo!!!  Which, again, can already be a normal issue in pregnancy thanks to all your organs getting squished by the little bundle.  Miralax is your friend.

~Leg cramps.  Especially at nighttime.  Super fun.  I don't know if there's any connection or not, but in our birthing classes our instructor has recommended a high protein diet (80-100 grams a day!!!!) and since I've started this, the cramps have decreased.  By the way, high protein diet?  Also a contributor to constipation.  Cramps or constipation--pick one. 

~Braxton Hicks contractions.  Another normal pregnancy thing.  Your stomach becomes a rock.  And then it goes away again.  It's NOT painful like real contractions would be, just an uncomfortable tightening.  Frequency and duration vary from person to person.  I get a couple a day now.  After being sick recently though, I went through a period of a few days where I was having 8-10 an hour.  Not fun.  And yes, I went to the doctor.  But everything checked out fine.  Which taught me another lesson... it's okay to call your doctor and go get checked out if you have any reason to be concerned!

~Bigger boobies.  Early on in the second tri I had to go out and buy new bras.  My old ones just weren't cutting it anymore.  Now, The Girls have not gotten huge, but I was small before so any increase is noticeable to me.  Overall, I have only gained a cup size.  However, what is more surprising is the fact that my...ahem...nipples... have greatly increased in size.  We're talking National Geographic style here.  Apparently, this is normal.  Along with changes in color (check!).  Weird, right?  Nobody told me that would happen.  Now you know.

On the plus side...

~Feeling movement!!!  Including hiccups!  Weird!!!!  Movement has gotten FAR more frequent.  AND, especially towards the end, movement is regularly visible on the OUTSIDE of my belly.  Yes, I can look down and see my stomach moving.  I have caught little hands poking me.  Little feet kicking me (in the bladder!).  And a solid round lump that I can only assume was a head.  Or an ass.  :)

~A growing belly.  Obvious, right?  There are a lot of things that change as your baby and belly get bigger.  There's a lot less room for your other organs in there.  I have started getting winded going up stairs.  Getting dressed in the morning is a lot more of a challenge.  There's no bending over to put on socks or shoes.  Slip-on shoes are your new best friends.  Your belly button probably looks a little different.  Mine is hovering dangerously close to becoming an outtie.  You may want to start sleeping with a pillow between your knees or under your belly.  You'll also need to find a new position to shave your legs in.  And you probably can't see your nether regions to keep that area "neat" anymore.  Just sayin'.

A growing belly brings on a lot of other things too...

~Feeling insecure.  Most days I'm good.  But there are those days where I feel fat and gross and sloth-like.  And why on earth would my husband be attracted to *that*?!  Your whole body is changing.  Of course your self-image is too!  Sometimes guys don't realize that you need reassurance.  This may lead to crying fits when you manage to convince yourself that your man thinks you are gross.  He doesn't.  He just doesn't know that you need more convincing than usual.  Yeah, guys are dumb sometimes.  Trust me though, he thinks you're hot as hell because your man knows that HE is the reason you look the way you do.  Which brings me to...

~Sex.  Keep at it, yo!  Just be aware...  your bodies won't fit the way they used to...  Adjustments will need to be made.  Also, don't be surprised if the belly is a bit of a distraction.  Hypothetically, your man could feel some kicking going on in there and get a bit weirded out.  Hypothetically.

Final words of wisdom...  try to find a way to stay active.  Water aerobics.  Yoga.  Working out if you're used to it.  Even just walking.  Whatever!  Staying active will really help with the aches and pains.  The second trimester may also bring out the crazies.  I faced my first rude comment!  An older bachelor in the halls at work saw me and proclaimed, "Must be soon!"  Imagine his surprise when I told him I still had over three months to go!  You will encounter idiots.  Don't take it personally.  Most of them just don't know any better.  This guy obviously didn't.

Weight gained to this point: right around 20 pounds.
Inches gained at waist to this point: I have no idea.  The doctors don't measure that way anymore! 

Goodbye second trimester! You brought some interesting changes.  I have a feeling there's more to come.

Week 25.

Dear rutabaga (what the heck is a rutabaga???),

well kiddo, it's been an interesting week once again.  After spending a day and half home sick last week, my "illness" (which I think may have just been allergies) developed into a lovely cough.  I went back to work though and was feeling mostly better!  On Friday afternoon, I noticed a strange tightening of my belly.  I texted Champaign girlfriend to ask if this was a Braxton Hicks contraction and see confirmed my suspicion.  Totally normal.  Didn't hurt, just felt weird.  I noticed a few more before heading home for the day.  Your dad was out on Friday night, so it was just me and Lita, relaxing.  I was still having BH contractions though.  I wasn't really concerned since I knew that this was NOT a sign of impending labor at all and I had no other issues going on.  I had trouble sleeping that night.  Lots of coughing.  And anytime I would turn over or move around a little, my stomach would get tight.  By Saturday morning I was exhausted, but still contracting.  I tracked them and was having 8-9 an hour!  Time to call the doctor.  They got me in for an early appointment and your dad and I headed off. 

Thankfully, everything checked out fine.  I was not "progressing" at all.  And 20 minutes of monitoring revealed that *you* were doing just fine... wiggling around, kicking the monitor, heartrate looked good.  The doctor basically figured that with all the coughing I had been doing, all the muscles in my abdomen just started contracting all crazy like.  Yay.  So she told me to start taking some over the counter cough medicine and spend the day at home, doing nothing but drinking water.  Fun.  So that's exactly what I did.  And things got much better. 

I've been on the cough medicine for a couple days now.  Cough is lingering but is MUCH improved.  Still getting the occasional contraction, but that's not surprising since my abs have not gotten a break in a week now.  *sigh* 

On Sunday night, we had our first Bradley Birthing Class!  Your dad was pretty nervous going in to it... but it ended up being just fine.  There are 4 other couples in class with us, most of them are pretty close to our age.  It's a pretty eclectic group though--a pair of Austrians, a couple from Russia and Bulgaria, I'm not sure where the other couple is from, and then one other pair of Americans.  :)  I think it will be a fun group.  And our instructor is pretty awesome.  Our first class was all about nutrition and exercise and relaxation.  Pretty low-key.  But we had fun doing the baby food taste test game.  Ha! 

The Bradley classes are a natural childbirth class.  We decided to at least attempt to go that route knowing it's the best for you.  And could potentially be the least complicated for me.  But we're still keeping an open mind.  You can't exactly plan these things.  As we've noticed already... ;) 

Keep growing, baby!

Week 24.

Dear mango ear of corn (really?),

today was the first day during this entire pregnancy that I left work early not feeling well.  I suspect I am facing the synergistic effects of not having slept well for the last several night (hello! night time leg cramps! and I've just started having trouble getting comfortable) and the fact that I learned that I am once again iron-deficient.  Yes, I had my glucose tolerance test yesterday and passed that with flying colors.  But my bloodwork revealed low hemoglobin levels.  You're sucking away my iron and energy, kiddo!  Ha!  Suck away...  I've been iron deficient before.  It does mean that I need to go back on iron supplements though.  Boohoo.  So I went to work this morning dragging my feet and by halfway through the day all I could think about was bed.  I ended up coming home and taking a two hour nap.  I guess I needed it. 

Your dad has been SO busy the last couple weeks.  He is doing a fabulous job of prepping the house.  He has been a painting machine lately.  Currently he is busy applying a fourth coat of primer over the lovely 70's era mural in your room.  We didn't think you'd really care to have a phases of the moon style mural in pinks and yellows.  The painting of your room will begin shortly.  Meanwhile, he is busy painting the new guest bedroom/library.  He's really trying to make it perfect since he knows this room will become my little getaway.  He's so nice. 

This past weekend I met up with Champaign girlfriend in Naperville for lunch and finally got to meet her little bundle, Bailey.  Goodness, what a sweet little thing she is!  She didn't really like having her picture taken though.  We enjoyed a long, leisurely lunch, catching up, talking babies, gossiping a little.  ha!  She gave a lot of advice about what to register for since that enormous project is looming.  I really wish that we lived closer to each other.  I miss that girl.  But am definitely looking forward to playdates with the whole family in the future! 

We also got a chance to stop by a local baby shop in the neighborhood that I had been wanting to visit because they sell cloth diapers.  That's right, I have officially begun purchasing fluff for your bum!  I am so excited.  :)

What else?  As I mentioned I had my doctor's appointment yesterday.  Got to drink the disgusting flat and too sweet orange soda.  Nasty.  But that test went well and everything else is looking good too.  You are getting bigger and stronger.  Your dad is always amused when he come and sits by me and can see my stomach moving.  Also, our birthing classes start this weekend!  I think that will be a serious reality check. 

Keep growing, baby.

Confession.

Even before I got pregnant there is something that I was considering for our first child.  Something that is...  controversial and divisive.  Those that do it, seem to love it.  Those that don't, just don't get it and even seem to resent those that do... 

I'm talking about cloth diapering. 

I confess--we are going to try cloth diapering.  I did a lot of research on this topic and I don't even remember how I originally started considering it.  What I was shocked to discover is that this topic in particular is one that a lot of mommas out there feel very strongly about.  There is a LOT of talk on the 'net about judgmental mommas.  Mommas who believe their way is the only way.  How dare you go back to work?  Why *wouldn't* you want an epidural?  Let them 'cry it out'.  How could you not breastfeed?  People are quick to judge or get very defensive when they find a momma that isn't doing things the same way they are.  It's actually quite sad.  That's one of the reasons that I have been extremely hesitant to discuss this with anyone--family or friends.  The other thing is that the world of cloth diapering has changed a WHOLE lot.  When I finally mentioned to my mom that I was thinking about cloth diapering, her immediate reaction was "Oh no. Why would you want to do that?!" 

So, why would anyone want to cloth diaper?  I can't say, but I can say why WE are interested in giving it a go.

1.  The number one reason for me is cutting back on our contribution to the weekly garbage load.  Do you know that newborns can go through 12+ diapers a day???  Yes, that number greatly decreases as they get older.  BUT...estimates are that a single disposable diaper takes 250-500 years to decompose.  I know, I was appalled too.  And the plastic bits never really decompose.  That is a LOT of diapers hanging around for a really long time.  :(  Newer biodegradable versions supposedly decompose a lot faster, but they also cost more.  Which brings me to #2.

2.  Cost.  While cloth diapers do require a substantial initial investment, you can save a significant amount of money in the long run.  It depends on the brands of cloth diapers and number that you buy... but conservatively you could save half your money by cloth diapering.  Not to mention the fact that because they are reusable, you could save even more by using them for multiple children!  Another child not in the cards?  The most popular brands of cloth diapers are even in demand as used items.  You could recover at *least* 40% of your initial investment that way... some of the more popular ones will even re-sell at 60-70% of retail!

3.  Less potential chemical exposure to baby.  Modern disposables are filled with all sorts of crap to make them as super absorbent as they are.  Not to mention that they are coated in plastic and therefore aren't very breathable.  Cloth diapers are (mostly) made of natural fibers--no ultra absorbent gel in there!  Fibers like cotton, bamboo and hemp are popular.  Again, depending on the type you purchase, they likely have a waterproof layer built in to prevent leaking.  But the natural fibers wick away moisture and allow baby's bottom to breathe, which may help prevent diaper rash. 

4.  Modern cloth diapers are nothing like the cloth diapers of old.  When I mentioned cloth diapers to my mom, what immediately came to mind for her were the old-fashioned cloth diapers.  These diapers were essentially a flat length of material that was folded around baby and held in place by a pin.  The material was absorbent, but not waterproof, so a pair of rubber pants was placed on top of the diaper.  Lovely.  Nowadays...  that flat length of material (a flat of prefold diaper) is still a popular cloth diapering options, but pins have been replaced by newer closure systems and the covers have come a long way as well and are available in wool and fleece.  The most exciting thing though is that there are new cloth diapering systems that very closely resemble disposables as far as ease of use goes.  By that I mean that there is only one piece involved, you simply remove the dirty diaper and instead of throwing it away, you wash it.  This kind of system is called the all in one diaper and there are about a million options out there.  This type of diaper is going to be the main type in our diaper stash.  We have also decided to mostly go with one size diapers.  These diapers adjust in size through a series of snaps and will potentially fit from 8lbs. to 40lbs.  This means they may not fit the tiniest newborns right away, but they will fit toddlers all the way up through potty training.  Some diaper brands are sold in sizes S,M,L, which means you have to size up as the child grows.  Buying one size diapers only means we'll have to spend even less on diapering our child.  How awesome is that?

5.  They're cuter.  I'd be remiss if I didn't further confess that one of the reasons I am so excited to use cloth diapers is because the diapers are so darn cute!!!  Again, depending on the brand, they come in a variety of colors and patterns and even outer fabrics. 

The dirty bit...  Yes, these diapers are going to require regular laundering--at least every two days.  Yes, I will be washing them in my home washer and dryer.  Yes, that will be a bit stinky and require some serious dedication.  However, for all the reasons I have listed above, I'm willing to give it a try.  Stay tuned for some updates on just how much work it is after the baby actually arrives.  Ha!

I have already started my cloth diaper "stash."  I have purchased two different brands so far and there's a couple of others that I'm looking to try out.  I'll plan on starting to post more about the diapers that I've selected now that I have confessed.  :)

I wish that the mommy world would recognize that we're all just trying to do what is right for *us.*  As individuals.  I will not wear a badge that says "I cloth diaper."  I'm not doing it to be better than anyone else.  I'm not going to try to convince anyone that it's the right way for *them.*  I will answer questions when/if asked.  Other than that, I just consider it another parenting choice that each mom and dad is free to make on their own.  There are a lot of things that are going to come up that I will think to myself "well, I would never do it that way," but that doesn't make it wrong.  It just makes it not right for *me.* 

Week 22.

Dear carrot spaghetti squash,

we've had a couple of weeks now to ponder our lives with a little boy running around.

I'm sure you'll inherit your dad's root beer eyes and probably dark hair too.  But will you have fair skin like me?  Or maybe even be left-handed???  Will you like hockey and football?  Baseball and soccer?  Will you have your dad's drawing skills?  Or my eye for photography?  Will you be a reader???  Will you like racecars and animals and watching cartoons on Saturday mornings?  What about trains and fishing and playing video games?

We have started making some big changes around the house.  Your room has officially been moved upstairs, it's a fantastic room for you.  Lots of space to play.  And I've started coming up with crazy ideas for colors and decorations as well.  Your dad gave up his big TV room for you.  Isn't he great?!  As a result, the downstairs bedrooms are going through redecorating as well.  Your poor dad has been very busy and will be staying busy for quite awhile.  

You've been staying busy as well.  Lots more movement in the last couple weeks.  I saw my stomach move for the first time.  And tonight I'm pretty sure that I felt your little foot from the outside while you were kicking around in there.  Stretching out, getting bigger and stronger.

Between all the hustle and bustle we did manage to have a bit of fun though.  We attended the Chicago Fire game at Soldier Field--a friendly match with Manchester United.  It was HOT!  But your dad and I had a blast and he was thrilled that you were attending your soccer match.  We also saw the conclusion to the Harry Potter saga in theaters.  Can't wait to show you those someday.  :)

Keep growing, baby!

The Big Reveal.

Well, it certainly has been an interesting three days!

Monday, July 11, 2011.  Your dad and I are so excited!  It's the big day!  We got up and got ready as usual.  The weatherman was warning us about a massive storm approaching.  We heard them, but had no idea what we were in for...  As I was heading upstairs to get ready, your dad called me back down.  The winds were picking up and he was nervous about me being upstairs.  Over the course of the next 20 minutes or so, hurricane-force winds tore through our neighborhood.  It was scary how quickly the whole thing happened!  The lights flickered and then went out.  And then the storm was gone, just like that.  There was nothing else for us to do but finish getting ready.  I called the doctor's office to verify they had power and were open and we were on our way.  Driving through our neighborhood we realized that many homes were without power and there were a LOT of trees down.  I drank my bottle of water in preparation for the ultrasound and we arrived right on time, despite multiple traffic lights being out.  The only problem was that the ultrasound technician was stuck in traffic.  Our appointment was at 9:20.  I sat and waited and tried not to think about how full my bladder felt.  Finally, at 10:10, the tech arrived.  And then we saw you.  All squirmy and adorable.  The tech took her measurements.  We saw your spine.  And your little legs.  And got a picture of your perfect little foot.  And everything measured well.  As soon as the time came to get more pictures, you hid your face.  You certainly were not shy about showing us other parts though...  the tech asked if we wanted to guess your gender, but it was pretty darn obvious.  YOU'RE A BOY!!!!  And I could not be more excited!!!!  And of course your dad is too!  I have always said that I wanted boys, that's something your dad has known too.  Oh baby, we have so much fun in store for you!

The short version of the next 48 hours or so goes something like this... From the doctor, I went to work as planned (after several excited hugs and kisses shared with your dad).  Your dad went to Costco to buy a generator.  It was supposed to get HOT and he didn't want me (us!) to be without cool air.  So nice!  He managed to get the last one and got it running by the late afternoon.  By the time I left for home I had heard a bit more about the magnitude of the storm.  Pretty much everyone I know was without power.  Even the University I work at didn't have power in all buildings and ended up closing early.  We had faced winds in excess of 85 mph and there were over 850,000 homes reported to be without electricity.  It took me two hours to get home from work thanks to traffic lights being out.  By that time, the minor sinus/allergy issues that I had been dealing with had turned into a full blown sinus attack and I could hardly breathe.  In 90+* temperatures, I took a hot shower in the hopes of getting some relief, by candlelight of course.  It didn't help much.  We slept on the couches in the living room, the only room that had A/C thanks to the generator.  I didn't sleep much.  There may have been some frustrated tears.  I was so miserably ill and yet so happy about our day at the same time!  Despite the power outage!  The university was closed the next day so I got a surprise day off.  I probably would've stayed home anyway considering how I was feeling.  Your dad headed to work and I stayed home and kept an eye on the generator.  What a noisy beast!  I still felt pretty bad and was a bit bored without any power.  I spent the day looking through our baby name book picking out some favorites and day dreaming about all the things we would do with you in the future.  We spent another night on the couches.  I slept better.  Sometime during the night, the generator ran out of gas and shut itself off.  Your dad whispered to me at 4:45 am and we noticed that the power had come back on.  Just shy of 48 hours without power.  It was quite an adventure.  The aftermath of the storm is still affecting a lot of people though.  Thankfully, temperatures have cooled considerably and we will be able to sleep with the windows open and in our own beds tonight. 

I should've realized that nothing about this process was going to be without some sort of drama!  :)  I wouldn't have changed any of it though.  We can't wait to meet you, baby boy!

Week 20.

Dear heirloom tomato(?!?) banana,

today we hit the 20 week mark.  Wow.  That means we're about halfway to your arrival.  That is unbelievable. 

This past week has been a busy one!  We celebrated the 4th of July.  You dad and I took the week off and did some tasks around the house.  Well, mostly your dad...  I did a couple things, but nothing too strenuous.  HE, on the other hand, put up the tile backsplash in the kitchen and is working on the trim as well.  He's turning into quite the handyman, which is good considering the list of projects we have in the works still.  On July 8, your cousin finally joined the world!  Charlotte (Charley) Dorothy Lanser was born at 6 lbs. 8 oz. and is absolutely adorable.  Her big brother Tyler seems to be completely enamored with her...he even tried to feed her a cracker when they first met--oops!  We did visit them in the hospital.  Your aunt Cassie said that labor was much easier the second time around.  I'll confess that this is a bit scary to me, but I feel like I've been reading and learning a lot and that whatever comes our way your dad and I will be better prepared to handle it. 

On Saturday we celebrated your Great-Aunt Cookie's 60th birthday with a surprise party!  That was a lot of fun.  It was the first time that a lot of the extended family and friends on your dad's side had seen the "baby bump" and everyone was very amused.  I admit that the attention intimidates me a little bit.  I've always been a private person, but everyone seems to want to talk about babies and pregnancies!!!  And it is a happy thing to discuss, of course.  :) 

This evening we spent a good deal of time at your Great-Grandma Ellie's house.  Your Great-Uncle Rich and his family are visiting from Arizona and we all got together to spend some time with them.  We spent a couple hours looking at all the old slide photographs of the three Holthusen boys growing up.  I love that kind of stuff.  Family history.  It's good stuff. 

And tomorrow is a VERY big day.  Tomorrow we have another ultrasound appointment.  This could be THE DAY that we find out if you are a boy or a girl.  Ohmygoodness.  Either way, it's going to be amazing.  I think we have settled on at least first names either way and I love them both.  I've also got some nursery ideas that I'm considering...  fun stuff.  I have to say, I don't really have a feeling as to which gender you are!  I think some of our family has their theories though.  We'll see when we see...  I can't wait to find out more about who has been kicking me in the belly.  And just to see you again is going to be quite the thrill.  I bet we'll actually be able to distinguish some features this time and everything!  :D  *sigh*  If I weren't exhausted from such a busy weekend I probably wouldn't sleep tonight, but as it stand now I bet I won't have a problem.  Haha. 

Keep growing, baby.  See you soon.

Week 18.

Dear avocado turnip bell pepper,

18 weeks old.  I cannot believe that we are almost at the halfway point.

You attended your first wedding in the last couple weeks.  For our friends, Todd and Stephanie.  It was a heck of party.  :)

In just a little over a week, we will (hopefully!) find out if you are a boy or girl.  Ohmygoodness!  We haven't told our families or friends the date of the big reveal because we're hoping to just revel in the excitement ourselves for at least ONE day.  Your dad and I have been discussing names and I think we're actually close to making a final girl and boy choice!  We're also talking about the nursery...I've got a couple ideas already, again, depending on you!  But we're still trying to decide whether the nursery will be upstairs or downstairs.  There are pluses and minuses to both.  I have no idea which one will win.  Decisions, decisions.

Meanwhile, we have a number of projects to get done around the house including finally finishing the kitchen remodel, painting, replacing doors, designing a nursery!!!!  So much to do.

We, well mostly I, have also been seriously considering cloth diapers for your little bum.  I'm really excited about this idea even though it has already been met with resistance from the grandparents.  Heh.  Things have changed a lot since the last time they would have looked at cloth diapers!

This week you have been having quite the party in my belly.  I have been feeling a lot more movement.  I've been trying to get your dad to feel it, but I'm not sure that he has caught it yet.  I joked with him that you are stubborn already... kicking away until he tries to catch it.  Of course, his response was that you *were* my child.  Harhar.

Next week your dad and I are both going to take vacation days so we'll be working on projects around the house all week.  And probably relaxing some too.  :)

Keep growing, baby.

Week 15.

Dear shrimp lemon apple,

we have officially made it to the second trimester!  The news is out, even at work where I was finally caught looking a little "bigger."  By a guy no less!  Ha.

Let's see...  On May 23rd,  I started my new position at work.  I have a new boss and now work in the same lab as my closest friend there.  It's been exciting, stressful, busy, overwhelming, sad and fun.  I am still so sad that my "old" boss, Patricio, is leaving.  It will be wonderful for him and his family though.  Hopefully we can keep in touch and you'll meet him and his wife and 5 kiddos some day.

I have been keeping *very* busy over the last two weeks, starting things in the new lab and wrapping things up in the old lab.  The good part is that it has made these last couple of weeks go super fast.  The bad news is that this has been wearing me out a bit.  BUT, I'm still more awake and functional than I have been!  I haven't been taking naps post-work and pre-dinner recently.  :)  Your dad even pointed out that I cooked dinner a few times last week and this week.  I hadn't realized that was a marker of my exhaustion level, but apparently he had.  Poor guy has been working his butt off taking care of everything around here, including me.

He has been having some fun this week though--building his new workbench!  I think getting his workbench put together is actually making him look forward to some of the projects we have planned around here to prepare for your arrival!

As I mentioned, the secret is pretty much out at work.  I decided last week that I wasn't going to hide the bump anymore.  It still took over a week for anyone to be brave enough to actually mention it to anyone else.  Not me of course!  ha.  I have packed up a lot of shirts that no longer fit.  I can still get away with wearing my work pants unbuttoned with the Belly Band.  Had a moment of panic last week when I realized that the dress I'm supposed to wear to a wedding next week no longer fits.  Should be getting a new one in the mail though.  I also has to breakdown and order some shorts from Old Navy because none of my old shorts fit and it has been *really* hot lately.  In the 90*s the last three days.  Of course, today was only 60-something, but temps will go up again surely.  

Your aunt Cassie is only about a month away from her due date with your new cousin.  We signed up to take a prenatal yoga class together starting this Saturday and I'm really looking forward to it.

Next Monday I have another Doctor's appointment.  I think this will be a boring one and they will just be taking blood to run more tests.  But I should get to schedule my next ultrasound--the big reveal!  We can't wait and have been discussing names.  Your dad thinks you are a little girl.  I'm not so sure myself.  Either way, we can't wait to meet you.

Keep growing, baby!

Full disclosure: First Trimester.

Alright kids, it's time for the cold, hard truth.  Depending on what source you check, this week may or may not mark the end of the first trimester for me.  If you go by developmental stages of the little one, the the first trimester marks the transition from embryo to fetus and ends at week 12.  If you go by the gestational method of calculating... 40 weeks divided by 3 is whatever, whatever so the second trimester begins at 13 weeks 3 days.  Blah, blah, blah.  So, it's either this week or next week.  I don't think this stuff is going to change by then. 

The joys of pregnancy.  I've done quite a bit of reading and have talked to quite a few preggies.  None of them have really shared this stuff with me.  But I'm ready to get down and dirty.  Since my BFP (big fat positive! for those not in the know when it comes to the trying to conceive lingo), here are the wonderous symptoms that I have experienced.

~Hunger.  This should be pretty obvious.  I have been *extremely* lucky and have not experienced any morning sickness (or afternoon or evening sickness either).  You may or may not have the same luck.  I have had some increased hunger and have dealt with it by having more frequent, preferably healthy, but not always, snacks.

~Cravings/Aversions.  There may be things that you have always loved that you now can't stand the sight/smell/taste of (oatmeal, protein shakes).  This will (probably) pass.  You may crave unusual things.  I'm not talking pickles and ice cream.  I have had cravings for cold things.  Salad.  Ice cream.  Smoothies.  Fresh berries.  I dunno.  Just go with it.  Everything in moderation. 

~Acne/Bacne.  Your hormones are raging.  You may or may not experience breakouts like you've never seen before or haven't seen since high school.  I have, yay!  You'll want to consider what you're using to treat the breakouts though.  I've been using a sulphur-based spot treatment.

~Dry skin/rashes.  On the flip side.  Where your skin isn't covered in pimples, it may be itchy.  Dry.  So dry you wake up scratching yourself at night.  Find a nice lotion.  Preferable one that's unscented and as chemical free as possible because you'll probably be using it A LOT. 

~Road rage.  Speaking of hormones...  I've heard that some women have increased arguments or tantrums or whatever you want to call them with their partners and/or family.  I haven't had this, but I have had an increase in road rage.  In fact, I flipped somebody off for the first time recently.  And f-bombs are FAR more frequent in the car than they are anywhere else.  Oops.

~Giggle fits.  On the flip side, I believe I have been far more likely to laugh with my husband than is normal.  This is a good thing.  Thinking about such a dramatic life change can be just a wee bit stressful, so any amount of giggling is more than welcome in my opinion.

~Potty trips.  Even before my BFP!,  my trips to the bathroom became more frequent.  This has eased off a bit now, but I hear that it will return again in the third trimester. 

~Constipation.  Well, at least I've been using the toilet for something because it sure hasn't been for the old number two.  Hey, I warned you this was going to be the dirty truth.  Apparently all those hormones slow down your digestive system too.  And that's all I'm going to say about that.

~Exhaustion.  You may or not experience complete exhaustion.  I have.  And continue to.  I'm talking about the kind of tired that requires a post-work nap, dinner served to you, a post-dinner nap, followed by dessert and then, finally, dragging yourself to bed.  And your body won't know it's the weekend, so don't expect to keep living the crazy life anymore. 

~Constant stuffy nose.  "Pregnancy rhinitis."  Supposedly this is also due to those lovely hormones.  Congestion.  Sneezing.  Sinus headaches.  And you can't really take anything for it.  Buy a neti pot. 

Finally, to go all the way to dirty...let's talk about...

~Cervical mucus.  Whoa boy!  Do not be surprised or think there is something wrong with you if you notice things are a bit more...  productive... down there.  

~Sensitivity.  Eep!  Your boobies (which are probably swollen and may be somewhat painful) and... other parts... are likely more sensitive than normal thanks to increased blood flow.  True.

~Sex.  These last two points would lead me to recommend that, if you're feeling up to it, "Just Do It."  And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Final words of wisdom: Get a belly band of some type to help you wear your normal pants unbuttoned for awhile.  I haven't worn any maternity clothes yet.  This majorly varies from person to person depending on how much weight you gain and also how you're carrying. 

In my case:
Weight gain to this point: about 3 1/2 pounds
Inches gained at waist to this point: 4!; yowza!  But my pants still fit (for now, although probably for not much longer) with the belly band.

So there you have it.  The first trimester.  Honestly, despite all these little things, it's been totally worth it to see and hear that little heart beating away.