Baby Eins. Three Years Old.

Dear Beck,

I am shocked that I am sitting here, in a hotel with a waterpark on Thanksgiving. Not because I am in hotel on Thanksgiving, but because today happens to be your third birthday. How did this happen?  I mean, I guess I knew it was coming.  It is truly amazing how much you have learned in the past year. The scariest thing is that we are so used to how you are right NOW that it is hard to remember what you were like before.  Before you knew how to jump. Before you knew how to count in English and German. Before you could have full conversations in complex sentences.

After your Kid Rock class in the spring, you and I took an ooey gooey science class together in the summer. We had a lot of fun making slime and painting. You had a blast. It was good to get out just the two of us again.  I definitely missed that for awhile when your brother came along. 

You love your brother. Usually. Unless he is trying to take things from you. Or destroy what you are working on.  You were just pushing him for awhile, but we have gotten to the point where you will now (usually) ask for help. You love to give him hugs and kisses. You like to crawl with him on the floor and have him chase you. He adores you. He smiles like crazy when you talk to him or sing to him. 

In the fall you started preschool!!  I was nervous about leaving you, but you did awesome!  We talked a lot about what would happen, read some books, and, okay, Daniel Tiger helped some too. By the time the big first day arrived, you were ready!  In the hallway you asked me "groooown ups comes back....?"  Just like Daniel Tiger sings. When I said yes, you walked into the room, found your name on the rug and waved goodbye. It was almost too easy!  You love your teachers--Monica and Molly. You love your classmates.  It is so much fun to watch you make friends. 

Some things have not changed...  You still have little interest in using the potty, but I know it will come with time. You are still napping!  Thank goodness. You take one nap typically when your brother does, and you usually sleep around 2 hours. That pushes your bedtime back until 9/930, but that is fine with us because then you get to spend some time playing with daddy after work. You go to sleep in you own bed after we read and sing, but you still end up in our room every night. I do not mind this so much anymore because I know it really will not be forever. Typically you climb into bed with us around 1 or 2 a.m.  On the morning of your birthday party, you made it all the way until 5!!!  Pretty soon you will not want the snuggles, I know. 

Oh yes, your birthday party. We had so much fun!  It was a construction theme this year and we had catering from your favorite restaurant--Moe's. What else do you love?

Cheese. Tacos. Quesadillas. Pizza. Hot dogs. Those are all the toddler food groups, right?  Oh, and chocolate. Candy too, but you do not get that too often. Swimming. Obviously. Going to the park. Climbing. Sliding. Swinging. Running. Going fast in general. Sid the science kid. Daniel tiger. Curious George. Super why. And the occasional episode of Thomas the tank engine or Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Trains. Cars. Trucks. Excavators. Construction!!  Good night, good night construction site. Strega Nona. Press Here. The day the crayons quit. Everyone poops. Building blocks. Stickers. Play-doh. Kinetic sand. Monster trucks. Puzzles. Oh, and the iPad. You also love to help in the kitchen (or play in your own kitchen)...baking, making lunch, putting away the groceries. You are a great helper. 

We went through a period of cursing. Damn--thanks, Oma. And there may have been an f-bomb--thanks, Grandpa Kahn. We ignored it and you stopped saying it. And we learned to keep our mouths shut more often. You believe that when you are "bigger," you will get to drink beer and help daddy and Kahn fix things. 

You are extremely polite. You often say thank you to strangers. Tonight, you thanked our waitress for your dinner at the end of the meal. You are more talkative to strangers in general now. You went through a phase of running in the stores when "somebody is coming!"  

In conclusion, you are a whole lot of fun to be around right now!  Most of the time. :)

Love you bunches.  You will always be my stinkerbutt, my pumpkin, my first baby.

Momma

Baby Eins. Two and a half years old!!

Dear Beck, as is typically the case with these letters now, this is a couple weeks late. But, for good reason! We just returned from your second trip to the great North of Wisconsin for our annual fishing trip with Oma and grandpa Kahn. That would be Ken, but you say Kahn. Anyway, we were there for a week and you had a fantastic time riding in the boat (going fast and under bridges), running around, blowing bubbles, and eating nearly endless snacks. And so what if you got eaten by mosquitos?? So badly that your ankle was swollen and your face slightly distorted. Okay, the ankle bothered you a bit, but you were a trooper and went on enjoying yourself anyway.

You are such a fun kid right now. You love your brother to bits and shower him with kisses and hugs. You always want to help. You are a parrot these days and we really need to watch what we say. Your favorite phrase is asking someone to 'keep you up' (pick). You still love puzzles. Have a million hot wheels. Went to your first class--Kid Rock--a 6 week music class. Love the playground and pushing your limits to climb the next biggest thing. Your favorite shows are Super Why and Sid the Science Kid (mom may have pushed that second one on you a bit). You love swimming. You love feeding the birds and looking for bunnies in the yard. You love tacos and mac and cheese and cheese in general. And yogurt. You recognize letters, knows your ABCs, and can count to 10. Or 12. You have your own bed now and chose the bedding yourself, but you haven't slept a whole night in it yet. I think it's coming soon... I'm looking forward to it and yet know that I will miss you terribly. You sit on the potty occasionally, but have not made any deposits yet. I think if we got serious about it you could be potty trained quickly, but we are not pushing you. A couple months ago you decided to give your pacifiers up to The Paci Fairy. You had not used them in weeks and remembered that we told you you would get a special treat when you gave them up. You did that when you were ready and we figure everything else will come when you are ready as well. Your favorite books are Tyrannosaurus Dad and The Day the Crayons Quit (aka 'Dinosaur dad' and 'colors'). You love to sing...Twinkle, Twinkle, Patty cake, wheels on the bus...but I most enjoy hearing you sing our special bedtime songs--Rainbow Connection or Somewhere Over the Rainbow. You are still an early riser and need your afternoon nap. In fact, sometimes you sleep for three hours! We are so lucky that Oma comes over 2-3 times a week to play. And on Fridays you get to spend the day with grandma! We skype weekly with Nona and G'pa and you always look forward to that as well. It is not all rainbows, of course. You are currently going through a phase of wanting to chew on everything. I recently caught you chewing on a power cable and it scared the crap out of me. Getting dressed can be a battle resulting in kicking, although that has gotten much better recently. You can sometimes be too rough with Lita the dog. And, like any toddler, you do not always listen. But, mostly, you are just a bundle of energy that we need to keep busy. I am certain that I am forgetting crucial bits, but this has already taken me three days to get down. :) Love you to pieces!! Mama

Waiting game.

It has been a rough week around these parts.  I started seeing a chiropractor a couple weeks ago, to help with my pregnancy aches and pains.  It has been fantastic!  I really did not believe that it would make a difference, but I was desperate.  Wincing in pain every time I rolled over in bed was getting old fast.  Of course, by this time in my first pregnancy, I had already been sleeping in the recliner for several weeks just to avoid having to rollover in the first place.  But I like my bed, darnit!  So, off to the chiro.  And it has helped a ton, not completely, but a ton.  I am still physically exhausted by the simplest of tasks.  Grocery shopping nearly killed me this week.  Pushing a cart full of groceries plus a toddler through a snow covered parking lot did not help.

The early part of this week was impossibly cold.  Temperatures in the negative teens, with windchills up to minus 50 degrees.  Needless to say, Beckett and I did not get out much.  This did not help my mood much.  He is a great kid, he really is, but boy is he exhausting.  My patience is thin at this point.  There has been much movie watching.  It's the only way I can make it through the day!

Last night was a real challenge.  A late nap threw off our whole day and bedtime was a total struggle. By the time my husband and I got Beck to sleep it was nearly 9:45.  Far too late and I was so frustrated.  I cried.  I was thinking if we could not handle bedtime with one kid, what on Earth are we doing being days away from having another one?!  Things did not look much brighter when Beck came up to me with a handful of poop while I was preparing breakfast.  Lovely.  Sigh.

Thankfully, my mother-in-law was on the schedule to be over at the house today.  Despite the fact that I am now done working out of the house, I asked the grandmas to keep coming over on Fridays to give me a bit of hand with Beck.  They both happily agreed.  I could not get out of the house fast enough today.

And so I sit, with a steaming cup of hot tea and a nearly devoured banana muffin, in the cafe of Barnes and Noble.  I just got a haircut.  I am not sure I love it, I have real bangs again for the first time in a long while, but it felt good to do something for myself.    And just being out of the house for awhile feels good too.  Who knows when I will get the chance to be alone again!

The waiting has begun.  I am due next week.  Of course my doctors are eager to see me deliver asap.  We are technically prepared, but I am not sure that we are ready.  Is anyone ever?  I lost a bit of my mucus plug this morning (whoa there!) and am having some mild cramping in my back.  Could mean something, could mean nothing.  Such is the fun of waiting to go into labor.  It is supposed to be a busy weekend, full of dinners with family and friends.  We will see what happens.  Right now, that is all I can do.  Wait.

Baby Eins: Two Years.

Dear Beck,

This week we celebrated your second birthday.  How is that even possible?  On your actual birthday, your dada took the day off work and the three of us had a great time together.  We had a yummy breakfast, including a rare treat for you: toaster strudel.  Then it was off to the Mariano's bakery, where you pointed out the cake in the display that you wanted to consume.  Next, we paid your pediatrician a visit and she confirmed how awesome and healthy you are.  You did not love being at the doctor...I think our recent ER and specialists visits for your foot have given you a bit of white coat anxiety. Not that I blame you. You got two shots as well, but calmed down quickly when we mentioned our next destination.  The pool!  We went to the park district swimming pool, which you and I have started frequenting. You were so excited "swimming, swimming, swimming..."  It was dada's first time at this pool.  We all got changed and walked up to pay for our time.  The pool was empty, but it was 20* outside so that was no real surprise.  Well, it turned out that mama read the schedule wrong and the kid's pool was not actually open during that time, only the lap pool. Thankfully, there are still some kind souls in the world and when they heard why we were there, they opened the pool and turned everything on just for YOU.  I am certain you had no idea what I was saying, but when I told you this your mouth dropped open in a big smile.  Priceless.  We played and "ah-boomed" (for when we lift you in and out of the water quickly with lots of splashing) for about 30 minutes or so.  You have recently discovered how much fun inner tubes are and are becoming quite bold about walking out into deeper water.  And yes, you fell and went completely underwater three or four times.  This surprised you, but you just kept going.  Bold.  After that it was home for a quick lunch and then to nap because you were wasted.  And so was mama.  :)  You slept for just over three hours, kiddo.  And I may have caught a few winks myself during that time.  

After we all woke up, it was time for a quick snack and then we took Lita for a walk.  You spoke with lots of family while I made your birthday dinner of macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, and fish sticks.  Live large, little man.  Then it was finally time for cake!  The candles mesmerized you.  I cut you a slice of your selection and placed it in front of you.  That first bite elicited the most awesome of responses,,,  an "mmm...yum.." with a little giggle in there.  So adorable.  And can we talk about that cake for a moment?  The cake you pointed at in the case was the "Signature Cake". It was covered in chocolate ganache, but that is all we knew.  Turned out that the inside was chocolate cakes, with a layer of chocolate buttercream, a layer of cheesecake, and a layer of cherry filling.  Wow.  I never would have selected something like that, but it was delicious.  Good choice.  Finally, you got your gift from us... A talking minion from Despicable Me.  "Tim" was a big surprise to you and you spent the rest of the night chatting and snuggling with him.  

All of this comes after the fact that we had a party to celebrate with family two weeks ago. It was minion themed and you had an awesome time!  I always worry that these events will overwhelm you, but you have done quite well with them. You had a great time playing with your cousins, eating some of the breakfast catering that we had, opening your gifts, and, of course, devouring a minion cupcake.  :)  Some pretty severe storms rolled through our area while we were busy celebrating you.  We got very high winds, lots of rain and even some hail.  There were also lots of tornadoes further south, but we all stayed safe.  

You have been quite the cuddler lately, wanting to give lots of hugs and kisses.  I will never say no.  You have also been quite impressive at large family gatherings, including your birthday, socializing with everyone.  Although your Uncle Dan still scares you a bit for some reason.  I would like to think that the fact that you are so secure has something to do with your parenting, but maybe that is just you.  Either way, you are pretty darn awesome.  We still have our moments of course.  You are wanting to be carried a ton lately and I cannot always accommodate that request.  My belly cannot accommodate that request.  :)  Your "up?"s and "pweese?"s kill me.  I know you just want to be close.  

Your dada and I love you so much, pumpkin.  I am going to have to stop calling you "baby" pretty soon because you will be a big brother soon enough.  But, you will always be MY baby.  

Hugs and kisses, mama

The Kids: Eins: 23 (1/2) months and Zwei: 31 weeks

Oh me oh my, I am so far behind....

Dear kiddos,

mom is starting to feel like a whale now, so things are definitely starting to move at a snail's pace.  That means that only necessary things get done, along with lots of napping and resting whenever I can.  Unfortunately, regardless of how unmotivated I am to do anything, time keeps marching on and neither one of you is sitting still. 

Beck, your cast came off and you wore an air cast for a few days before we weaned you off of that too.  You are now fully recovered and back to running around full force.  I guess we will never know if you actually had a break or not.  We will tell you it was broken if it makes you feel cooler though. 

I neglected to update your vocab list last month, which I am certain is incomplete.  Sometimes the words that you choose to repeat amuse me so... 

Your new word list includes: bosh (blocks), hot, no, car, bus, shoes, back, clock, on, juice, book, fly, di-sore (dinosaur), off, walk, cereal (typically the first thing out of your mouth in the morning), Neenah (Nona), baby, boo, zip, fan, hug (yes, you give hugs now and it is the cutest thing EVER!!!), boom, say, Buck (Beck), pumpkin, nose, mouth, open, banana, hat, Elmo, milk, hummus, yes, apple, plate, purple, phone, thumb, Tyler, bubbles, and eyes.  Whew.  Yes, I would say that is officially the word explosion.  You copy words we say often now, but I only record them when you start offering them on your own. 

You have also started counting... it usually goes "one, two, one."  But the other day you did six through ten perfectly.  You are starting to notice colors as well and we heard your first two-word phrase the other day "dada done."  One of your favorite things to do right now is to look at pictures and point out all the people that you know.  I am sure you do not care about these little details now, but someday I hope that you are a father and you will recognize what a HUGE deal all these little moments really are. 

Your dad and I celebrated our 5-year wedding anniversary last month.  We actually left town for a night and went to stay at a bed and breakfast.  It was a nice little getaway for us and you did not mind because you got to have your first sleepover at Oma's house!  Both her and grandpa swear that you were good.  You got to sleep in the big bed with Oma, you lucky kid.  

We also celebrated your second Halloween last month.  You were a pirate and your dad went all out converting the wagon that Oma bought you into a pirate ship for the day.  After seeing the photos, a friend commented that we will not be able to do these crazy things when we have two kids.  I sure hope we can.  Halloween is a favorite holiday in our house and of course we want it to be a fantastic memory for you growing up.  Challenge accepted!!!

This weekend we will actually be celebrating your birthday.  A few weeks early so that Nona and G'pa could make it too.  I cannot believe that you will be two!  Where has the time gone?!

Speaking of time... your brother will be here before we know it!!!

Baby Zwei, we had one last level II ultrasound last month.  You were estimated to be a large size at that point (3 lbs, 3 ounces, shocker!), but everything looked perfect.  The spot that the docs were concerned about had completely resolved and we were released from their care.  Yay!!!  We passed the glucose tolerance test with flying colors as well, so it is not gestational diabetes that is contributing to your large size, apparently I just grow 'em big.  You are still WAY active.  Sometimes it seems impossible that you only have four limbs in there with all the movement I feel, you may even be MORE active than your brother was.

I am so excited to meet you, but feel so unprepared.  We have most of the things we need for your care at this point, so there is none of that panicked feeling of a huge to-do list.  And yet, I feel like I should be doing *something* to prepare for you.  These next few months are going to fly by with the Holidays coming up.  We are not even sure what your name will be at this point!  Of this I am sure though, you are going to rock our world in the best of ways. 

Love you boys, momma

The Kids: Eins: 22 months and Zwei: 24 weeks.

Dear Kiddos,

it has been a pretty big month around here.

Beck, all of your baby teeth are finally in!!!!  FINALLY!!!  Hallelujah!!!  It took 4 months for those "two-year molars" to come in and that last one was just hanging on for the longest time.  They are finally here.  We brush your teeth before bed every night and you have started brushing your teeth yourself while we get ready in the morning as well.

Another huge milestone has been reached in the past month: you are no longer breastfeeding.  As I hoped would happen, you dropped the last two feeds after your teeth finished coming in.  The morning feed went first and we were just nursing before bed.  As it turned out, you nursed for the last time on my birthday.  If I had known then that it would be our last session, I might have paid a bit more attention.  Enjoyed you looking up at me.  Smiling as I rolled your pacifier down my chest.  Reaching up and playing with the skin tag on my shoulder (lovely habit).  Just recognized how far we have come.  I am so proud of the fact that we made it so long.  I am so proud of the fact that you got to choose when you were done.  I had no idea that the end would be so bittersweet.  I was looking forward to it and yet it made me very sad at the same time.  You are no longer a baby.  21 months and 14 days.  Wow.  I never expected to go that long.  I have tried to give you both cow's milk and almond milk since then, but you are not a fan.  Maybe in time, no rush, just like everything else. 


And yes, we celebrated my birthday.  We had a little dinner, just the three of us.  It was quiet and wonderful.  :)

The final milestone for your month was your first ER visit and cast.  Yay.  Not really.  There was an incident with your push trike this week.  You put your feet down while I was pushing you and your left foot got jammed under the footrest.  It has happened before, unfortunately.  Unlike some of the previous instances though, this time you did not react at all.  We made it the rest of the way home, you walked in the house and ran around and danced while I prepared dinner.  When it came time to get out of your highchair though, you would not put any weight on your foot.  It took your dad and I awhile to even figure out what could have happened!  We iced it for awhile, but you were still obviously in pain.  So, off to the ER we went.  You were so brave, little man.  It was already close to your bed time and we would be there until well past it, but you did not sleep a wink.  You wanted to watch everything.  We were shuffled from room to room, you had 2 sets of x-rays (the worst part because mommy could not go in the room with you.  I HATED standing in the hallway and hearing you crying.), saw several very nice medical staff members, but we were given no conclusions.  No visible fractures, but you were not tolerating weight or manipulation of that foot.  It was decided to treat it as a break, you were put in an over-the-knee splint, and we would follow-up with the ortho.  Daytime was okay because Oma came around to back me up, but you were miserable trying to sleep in that splint.  You just could not get comfortable and I cannot say that I blame you.  We saw the ortho yesterday and while he could not see a visible fracture either, you were still swollen and tender.  He made the decision to put you in a cast and recheck you in a week.  Thankfully, it is a short walking cast, below-the-knee, and you are already walking around on it like nothing!  And we are all sleeping much better.  :)  I sure am feeling guilty for hurting you though.  Hopefully, you will be all better in one week!

Meanwhile, Baby Zwei, you are charging right along.  Shortly I will be in the third trimester.  Where oh where has the time gone?  I feel like I am getting enormous, but I have not gained that much weight.  My belly just likes to get big, apparently.  At my last OB appointment at 24 weeks, 4 days, I was measuring 30 cm.  Whoa.  We had your follow-up level two ultrasound the week previous and the fancy devices are estimating you at 1 pound, 6 ounces, putting you in the 64th percentile.  You are not enormous, why am I?!  You looked perfect.  The doctor said that it looks like the suspicious spot is resolving on its own, but they do still want to keep an eye on things.  Make sure that it disappears completely and that you keep growing like you should.  A little irritating because I really just wanted to hear "everything looks good, buh-bye now!", but if it means I get to see you more I guess I will not complain. 

Love you kids, momma

Baby Eins: 21 months and Baby Zwei: (almost) 21 weeks.

Dear Beck and Baby Zwei,

kids, my life has become so much more... full with you two in it!!!!

Beck, you are almost 2 and are starting to become quite the parrot.  You repeat words after us, but then we never hear them again, so I refuse to count them as part of your vocabulary.  You have still gained quite a few words in the last month though and I think we are finally starting to see the "language explosion" that we kept hearing about.

Your new favorite activity is actually kind of a chore.  You help us feed Lita breakfast and dinner.  You hold her food bowl, put it down in her stand when it is ready, even bring us her water bowl when it is empty.

You love your monster trucks.  Daddy got a new R/C monster truck recently and you two are having a blast driving it together.  You are a good buddy for him.

You are still working on that. one. last. 2-year. molar.  I hate teeth.  Have I mentioned that before?  Yeah...  As a result of that tooth you have been sleeping a lot with us lately.  I love the snuggles most of the time, but space is going to become a premium in our bed with my growing belly pretty soon.  :)  I am still hopeful that once this last tooth is out and with some gentle coaxing, you will start sleeping in your room again, just as you did before.

You are also still nursing twice a day and that is becoming rather... uncomfortable... these days.  I am hopeful that this too will change once those darn teeth are done.  If not, I will finally be willing to consider gently weaning you.  Sorry, kid.

Current naptime is around 11:30 and you sleep for 2-3 hours most days.  I usually work for part of your nap and then we snooze together for the rest of it.  Goodness knows that I can use the extra sleep at this point too. 

New things include:
~"ups"=oops "Ti-ta"=Lita "vroom" "hop" "bye" "Oma" "Ut"=out "Sit" "Holp"=help "Wawa"=water "Vamos"=our release word when feeding Lita
~Working on signs for walk, playground and help
~Your bald spot has filled in!!!
~I am sure there is more that I am forgetting....

The biggest news of the month is that we learned that you will be gaining a BROTHER in January!  Your dad and I are pumped.  I am already picturing bunk beds and soccer games in the backyard.  :)

Baby Zwei, you are a mover and a shaker just like your brother was (and still is).  Every doctor I have seen that I has tried to listen to or see you has commented on how you will not stop moving.  Tell me about it.  You are quite persistent with your kicks these days.  Dad got to even feel you for the first time this week.

We had our level II ultrasound to check on you and all looks well except for one tiny, little thing that they want to check on again.  All that means is that we get to see you again in 3 weeks!  :)  The doctor wants to make sure that you are growing at an appropriate rate (that is, they found something that carries a small association with growth restriction), which I only find terribly amusing because I am already measuring at least 4 weeks ahead of where I should be AND they want to monitor you for being too big since your brother was so large.  Mixed messages much?  Several other tests have come back normal, so we are pretty much convinced at this point that the doctors are just being overly-cautious. 

It is official that as of your arrival, I will become a full time stay at home mom.  I know this will take some adjusting for all of us, but it is the best thing for all of us as well.

You just keep growing and shaking and being healthy and your brother will keep me plenty busy in the meantime.

Love you two kids,
momma

Baby Eins: 20 months.

Dear Beck,

you are 20 months old now.  Where the heck is the time going?! 

Guess what???  You are going to be a big brother!!!  I know that will be an adjustment for you (and for all of us, really), but I think you will love it.  You really enjoy interacting with other kids right now, but I think it will be hard for you to share mom and dad.  You will make it through your second birthday and Christmas as an "only" and then you will become "the oldest."  Whoa.

I am certain that a TON has happened in the last two months, but Momma's memory is awful these days, little man.  Just awful.  So here is what I remember...

~We took our first trip to The Great North.  You and I both had a cold, but you loved every minute of it.  Loved being outside (despite the mosquitoes and ticks, ewww!), loved riding in the boat, and loved playing with Oma and grandpa.  Maybe next year you will catch your first fish.
~Still one nap a day, around 11.  Bedtime is at 8.  You have recently started waking early...  5:30, 5:15, as early as 4:30!  We are hoping this settles down once your teeth are done...
~Speaking of teeth, you have 18 now... 2 of your 2-year molars are in and we are just waiting on those last two!  They are ever so slowly working their way out.  We are so over teeth.
~Animal sounds--moo, quack, oink, neigh, woof, meow
~"Hi" "Mama (in context!)" and, finally, "dada"
~Signing more, milk, all done and please. 
~Letting us know when you need a diaper change.
~Letting us know when it is time for a nap or bed.
~Shaking your head (Uh-uh) and nodding (mm-hmm).
~You went through a week of hating bathtime (???), but now are back in love.
~Nursing twice a day still... at bedtime and early morning.  I think you might drop these when those teeth are done too, we shall see.
~Loving your Monster Jams monster trucks.  And play-doh.  And books.   And puzzles.   And going to the library.
~Bringing your dirty dishes to the dishwasher, your cup to the dispenser to be filled, and throwing trash in the garbage.
~Starting to really enjoy exploring the playground and even going down slides!!! 
~No official recent weight, but the scale at home says 26 pounds.
~Still wearing some 18 month clothes, but some bigger sizes as well. 

In general, you are a pretty happy kid.  You are the little boy at the library who always gives his toys away.  You seem fascinated by babies and other kids in general.  You love to be outside, you even like the rain.  But do not want to step in puddles... I am imagining that this will change.  :)

You still begin most nights in your crib and then come to bed with us when you wake-up.  Recently that has been around 10 pm, as you have been teething *and* ill.  We all get more sleep that way.  Our bedtime routine has not changed in a long time...  Nurse and story in the rocker, change into jams, brush teeth.  You turn out the lights and wave goodnight to the baby (a photo of you) in the hall.  Kisses.  Sing one or two songs in the rocker while we watch the star lights, then you go into your crib.  We sit with you until you drift off.  Normally, it only takes a few minutes.

I am so proud of the progress that we have made.  I recognize that in a few short months I will be starting all over again and I hope that I can be as patient with your brother or sister as I was with you. 

Love you, momma

18 months. One and a half years.

Dear Beck,

one and a half years.  Sounds so much older than 18 months, no?  Oh my, little man.  I cannot believe you have been in our lives for one and a half years.  Half the time I still cannot believe that I am lucky enough to be your mommy. 

New this month... 
~"uh-oh" "socks"
~climbing the whole staircase
~pointing to go outside
~grabbing our hands to walk the sidewalk
~sidewalk chalk
~you are now an iPad pro...scary
~ONE nap a day
~dropped (?) another nursing, down to 2 nursings a day
~walking with your arms down...but not quite running, yet
~survived your second (a double!) ear infection
~33.5 inches tall, 23 lbs 14 oz.
~Size 18 month clothes, some 2T stuff as well

It does not really seem like a lot of huge changes, but you are definitely acting even more like a little boy these days.  When we are outside, you choose to dig in the dirt, collect sticks, poke bugs.  But you also enjoy carrying around flowers.  :)  I think the single nap a day schedule has been easier on you than it has on me!  Indoors you like to play with your playdoh, stack things, drive your cars around, roll on the sofa, read books.  You are also starting to pay A LOT more attention to Lita, your doggy companion.  We need to remind you to be nice when you get overexcited sometimes, but you are usually very good.  

This Saturday we embark on another adventure with you!  Our vacation in the "North Woods" begins.  You are going to have so much fun this year.  I wish that it would be warm enough for swimming but it is looking like that will not be the case.  Oh well.  All we have to do is survive the car ride.  :) 

Love you bunches, my monster.  Momma

17 months.

Dear Beck,

it has been two months since I have written about you and looking back at the 15 month post, I cannot believe how much has changed.

Let me think...
~you finally started pointing last month and now you point at everything
~if there is something you want, you point AND grunt, charming
~you now say 'dah' (dog), 'woof,' 'up,' 'ish' (this).
~you sign 'more' and 'milk'
~you understand a TON and I can give you simple directions "put your cars away," "give this to daddy," "go wash your hands"
~you give high-fives and fist bumps
~you like shooting hoops with dad
~you are obsessed with your window crayons and enjoy play-doh as well
~you love being outside and people-watching
~you love music and will bob your head right along with daddy's loud music (he is so proud)
~you always kiss us goodbye
~you LOVE when your Grandma and Oma come to visit
~you enjoy truck sounds and have started making then while you play with your monster trucks
~you have had 16 teeth for awhile now (got all four canines at 15 months) and I suspect the second set of molars is starting to bother you occasionally as well (only 4 more to go!)
~you are still a great eater and have definitely started exhibiting some preferences

Phew!  You also had your first major illness.  :(  The day AFTER your 15-month well visit, you were definitely off.  You were home with daddy that day and he took you back to the doc.  You were diagnosed with an ear infection.  A nasty ear infection that gave you 104.3* fever that night.  My poor pumpkin, you were absolutely burning up!  That was our first parenting moment where we were wondering what to do.  The debate of "do we go to the hospital or are we over-reacting" was raging.  You were due for another dose of Tylenol at that point and, thankfully, your fever broke then.  You were only content snuggled up on my chest and slept that way most of the night.  It took a couple days and a course of antibiotics (which you took happily, just like all the other medicines you have received), but you bounced back pretty quickly.  Fingers crossed that was our first and last.

We took our first trip to Ohio to visit your Gpa and Nona for Easter.  You were a great little traveler, as usual.  You do not get to see them too often, but we still Skype every weekend and you are starting to get really comfortable with them.

Just in this last week, you have started walking confidently.  You now do lap through the kitchen and living rooms and enjoy walking the driveway outside as well.

Your dad and I also took you for your first haircut this weekend.  It is absolutely amazing what taking a little fuzz off can do--you look like a little boy now, not a baby.  Which, I guess, is exactly what you are...  Growing too fast, kiddo.

Love you bunches,
Momma

15 months.

Dear Beck,

you are 15 BIG months old.  The last month has been a bit rough for our household, but not because of you.  We did have some fun in there too! 

We took our first plane ride with you.  We went to visit Nona's mom and dad in Colorado.  Beck, you were a dream on the plane.  I was so stressed out about the ride, but you were awesome.  You snacked and slept and gave us nothing to worry about.  We had a lot of fun visiting with family in CO.  The mountains were beautiful, but of course you are too young to appreciate them now.  You continued to be a good traveler and tolerated our many long car rides quite well.  We visited with a former co-worker of mine as well.  They have a little boy too, who is almost 2 years old.  You really enjoyed having a new playmate.  You slept well.  You ate well.  You bonded with Nona and G'pa.  It was good.  The only downside to the trip was that I caught norovirus somewhere along the way.  Was *very* ill on our second to last day.  We still managed to make it to the Exotic Animal Sanctuary on our last day and then flew home.  Your dad got sick that night.  You were mostly spared from that illness, but got a doozy of a cold the next week.  You are actually still sick now a week later and awoke with a fever this morning.  Poor pumpkin.  You are home with daddy today and I am at work.  I cannot lie, I feel guilty being here while you are not feeling well.  :(

We had your 15 month doctor visit just yesterday and you grew like a weed these last 3 months.  Well, in one direction anyway.  You grew 3 inches up!  But did not gain any weight.  Your doctor is not worried since you have been sick and you are still growing, but want us to try to fatten you up a bit and go back for a weight check in a few weeks.  We also discussed the fact that you are not talking yet.  You did start saying "dah" this week for dog.  Goodness, there is the Cesar dog food commercial that comes on during Pit Boss (yeah, we watch Pit Boss together during lunch) and you LOVE it. 



You watch and smile and look at me and smile and then look back.  Sometimes you say "dah."  It makes my heart MELT.  Anyway, your doctor is not worried about this either since you babble a ton and are learning new sounds and definitely understand what we are saying to you.  I am certain that once you start talking we will not be able to make you stop anyway.  :)

Although you recently took your first unassisted steps, you are not walking on your own regularly.  You prefer to cruise or crawl when you want to get somewhere quickly.  We convince you to practice once in a while and you showed off your skills a bit while we in CO for Nona and G'pa as well.  I am only eager for you to start walking so your hands and clothes would be less covered in dog hair and dirt since I am a terrible housekeeper these days.

We are still nursing, but it has dropped off some to only three or four times a day.  This has been entirely your choosing so I am okay with it.  I have hung up the pump this week as well.  Not quite sure how I feel about that yet, but it is nice to have one less bag to pack.  I am so proud that we have made it this long though.  I know it is what saved you from getting norovirus with the rest of us.  Family still sometimes asks when we will stop and I think that is mostly because I am the first in the family to breastfeed longer than 3 months.  I am in no rush, little man. 

I have a feeling there are big things coming our way soon.  But then I think I have been saying that for awhile now.  :)  Hopefully, we can all just stay healthy (get healthy!) for the next month or so.

Love and kisses,
Momma

Everyday I'm toddlin'.

Uh-oh.  I think I officially have a toddler on my hands. 

My little man took his first four very zombie-like steps on Wednesday while we were at the library.  He was so happy to be crawling around, playing with new toys, seeing other kids.  We were taking a break, sitting on a bench together for a moment.  He wanted down so I lifted him down.  He stood there a second, smiled and giggled a bit and then took four steps away from me before plopping down on that fluffy tush.  I think I let my surprise get the better of me a bit because I heard myself saying "What are you doing, you silly?!"  Obviously it was a bit louder than I thought because once he was sitting I looked around and two other moms were staring at me.  I had to explain that those were his first unassisted steps.  :)  Meanwhile, B was so proud he was sitting there clapping.  What a character.  I was so happy to witness those first steps!  If only dad could have been there too. 

Dad got his chance to witness some wobbly steps too since he was home with B yesterday while I was at work.  My husband reported frequently throughout the day that B was taking a few steps here and there before falling into his arms.  Quite the game he had discovered. 

Then, this morning...  THIS....

Sorry about the squeaky mommy voice. 

We are in trouble. 

14 months.

Dear Beck,

You are 14 months old and we have been having so much fun lately. I like to think that it is because I am starting to "get you" better.  There used to be many days where I would feel overwhelmed, frustrated.  Those days have been fewer over the last several months.  So many new things!

You love to clap.  Anytime we say "yay" you clap and smile.  Cutest. Thing. Ever.  You wave hello and goodbye now.  You still are wordless, but you understand a lot.  I swear I heard you say dog the other day.  You babble a ton.  Your new favorite sounds are "guh" and "ssss". You babble mamamamamama too.

You cruise like crazy.  Can get on and off your push train by yourself.  Love to push that and pretty much anything else that moves, even if it is not meant to, all over the house.   You just figured out how to scoot while riding your train in the last couple days.

Baths are still your favorite.  Your favorite toys are things that roll (balls and water bottles), things that stack or nest (including the metal mixing bowls in the kitchen cabinet), and paper.  You love books.  Especially touch books.  You recently consumed a page of "Pat the bunny" while home with dad.  Okay, not the entire page, just part of it.  The page with the bunny.  Weirdo.  We read before bed every night and I think you actually look forward to it.  Most nights.

You climb the stairs now.  You climb the stool in the bathroom to reach the sink so we can wash your hands before meals.  You still love to eat.  You eat three full meals plus a snack a day.  On top of our four nursing sessions.  Your dad and I are always amazed at just how much you can consume.  At your nine-month appointment your doctor told us that we should give you all the solids you want until you stop eating.  That has NEVER happened.  Yum.

You are a great shopping partner and errand runner.  As long as you can see what is going on around you, you are mostly content just to look around.

You are wearing 18 and 24 month clothes now. Your first set of molars finally came in, so you have 12 teeth now.  Your upper canines are just starting to poke out.

You went through about a week of only taking one nap a day, but have been back to two naps regularly.  I think we are approaching a point where you will drop the second one though.  Sadness.

This will be a big month for us.  You will take your first plane ride when we go to Colorado!  I am a nervous wreck about the plane ride, but, knowing you, there will be plenty for you to look at to keep you occupied.

It seems like you are doing something new every day.  A new adventure awaits with every sunrise!  It has been so much fun watching you figure things out the last couple months.

Love you bunches, Mama

Survival mode (13 months).

Thirteen months. This started off as a typical letter, but that changed when I broke down in tears a bit ago. It is almost 9 pm here, well past Beck's usual bedtime, but the Holiday Plague is upon us, so we are being a bit more lenient. Beck started getting sick on Christmas Day and by the 26th we were in full-blown survival mode. Take your "schedule" (I use the term loosely because we have a routine, but not a locked down schedule) and chuck it out the window. We are practically back in the newborn days... Naps whenever, food whenever, nighttime sleep wherever. Tons of fun. And snot. Good times.

Anyway, since the kiddo has been not really sleeping anyway, we gave up on the concept of even using the crib at all the last couple days. Camping out at night on the sofas and sneaking in zzzs when we could. Tonight we decided to just head up into our bed. I have spent nearly an hour trying to get this kid to sleep, to no avail. He is fighting it so hard. Completely exhausted, but will not close those eyes.

So, tonight, I am feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed as a momma. And that quickly spirals into feeling overwhelmed with everything else in life. Will we all ever sleep again? Will I ever catch up on laundry or the dishes? Will I ever have time to spend with my husband again? Will I ever get time to myself again? Of course, the answers to all of these questions is yes. But it is so darn easy to get caught up in one issue, whatever that issue happens to be, and think that this is the way things will always be, forever and ever.

I know that someday Beck will no longer need us for pretty much any reason. But that is hard to remember when he is sick and has needed me for pretty much every single moment of the last 3 days. I feel so awful for him, of course. Watching those little eyes water, his nose run, so obviously uncomfortable... I would take on the sickness myself if I could.

For now, I am just hoping to get through another night. And then another morning. Another afternoon and evening. Another day. And then however many more days it takes before this kid is well. And trying to remember that it IS true, this too shall pass, just like everything else has before it. And then something new will pop up, just like it always does as well. Such is life. Perhaps what I still need to realize as a parent is that we are always in survival mode. What works one day, may not work tomorrow. We are constantly adapting. How completely frustrating for a scientist.

12 months as a parent.

I would  love to say that my time served so far means that I have it all figured out.  Truth is, I do not. And at this point I kind of think that any parent that tells you they do, or even acts like they do, is bluffing big time.  But maybe that is how we learn to survive.

This has been one of the most challenging years of my life.  The sleep deprivation is rough.  Really rough.  You expect it in the newborn days.  You get used to it even!  Somehow remaining functional on mere hours of sleep that have been dished out in fragments.  I did not realize that what is even harder is when you reach the point of actually getting some good sleep for awhile, only to have it taken away again.  There have been incredibly frustrating nights.  Nights of tears for myself and Beck.  When I wonder what has gone wrong; why does he refuse to sleep?  The fact is I tell myself often that there is no reason, but there really always seems to be one.  I just cannot always figure out what it is right away.  Maybe he is getting sick.  Or maybe it is because he has just figured out how to crawl or is about to start pulling up on things.  Maybe his gums are swollen and covered in blisters because his molars are forcing their way through his jaw.  Good times.  He is not trying to torture us, but sometimes that is hard to remember at 2 am.  Or even 11 pm, when I just want sleep for all of our sakes.  It is hard too because your day becomes so regimented.  Plans are made around naps and meals.  But that is not really a problem for me.  I like schedules.  It is hard to have very few moments of time to yourself.  For me, at least.  Sometimes, it is a battle just to get to go to the bathroom alone. Every little chore or task becomes infinitely more difficult.  Can I take the baby with me to sort laundry in the basement?  Do I put him in his pack and play?  Is it worth the time alone for the possible screaming?  Are these toys entertaining enough?  There really is stress around every corner with a baby.  Illness.  Teeth.  Is he eating enough?  Sleeping enough?  Pooping enough?  It is enough to drive a person crazy.  I have had to learn to relax and go with the flow a lot more.  It is amazing what a little change in perspective/expectations can do for a person.

Thankfully, this has also been one of the most rewarding years of my life.  I have had the luxury of staying home with my little guy 3 days a week and working 2.  That is truly a blessing.  I have thoroughly enjoyed watching him grow and change and am excited to say that so far I have not missed any firsts!  This kid amazes me.  We have games we play and songs we sing that he actually recognizes.  He can anticipate what comes next.  He can mimic us.  He is so curious.  He likes to look at books.  He is starting to try to stack things and put them away instead of just knocking things down and taking things out.  And the love.  It is overwhelming.  The worst day can fade away with just a smile or a wave or a giggle.  And to see him toddle my way to offer a kiss or a hug.  It kills.  I really would do anything for this kid.  Including not sleeping, ha!

And so I shall continue to go with the flow.  When my child needs me, even if it is at 2 am, I will be there.  Sooner than I think he will no longer need me at all.  If this first year has gone so fast, I cannot imagine how fast the rest of them will go.  It has been awesome. And there's so much more to come.

One year.

Dear Beckett,

We made it.  You are one year old.  I do not know where the time went.  Wait, let me think....

To crying.  To sleepless nights.  To hours spent listening to birds from the white noise app.  To naps on the couch.  To singing and rocking and reading before bed.  To a lot of time nursing.  To meals in the high chair, stuffing your face with both hands.  To giggles.  And cuddles.  And kisses.  To crawling and cruising.  To 'boo' faces and your latest trick, waving.  To many diaper changes.  To teething.  To several colds and RSV too.  To many wonderful visits with family.  To days with Oma and Gramma. To trips to the mall with dad.  To walks in your stroller or trike with us and Lita Loo.  To knocking over stacks of blocks.  And playing in the bathtub.  To weekly grocery shopping.  To a couple of road trips and many holidays.  To one awesome birthday party...  We closed out your last month as a baby with a bang.

First, we celebrated Halloween.  You had three costumes this year!  First, we went to a party and all of us dressed up.  You went as Eliot from E.T.  Then, we went trick or treating at Oma and Grandpa  Ken's and you dressed as a cowboy.  We even tricked out your trike to be your horse.  We went house to house with your cousins and although you had no idea what was really going on, we had a great time.  Finally, on the big day you wore your pumpkin costume and we handed out candy while walking the neighborhood with your dad and Loo.  I sure hope you come to love Halloween as much as your dad and I do.

A good portion of November went to planning your birthday party!  We settled on an UNO! theme.  Your Oma, Gramma and I made decorations including tissue paper pompoms and banners.  I also made rainbow cookies to give to your kiddie size guests.  Unfortunately, several of those kiddos had to cancel due to illness, so your cousins ended up being the only kid guests.  But they had fun!  So many people came to celebrate your big day and they were all very generous.  Nona and Gpa came to visit for your birthday as well.  They stayed with us for several days and had a lot of fun spending some quality time with you, even if we were just going through your typical daily routine.  You waved for the first time while they were here.  It was bedtime and we had just spent awhile playing in your bedroom.  I asked you to wave night-night and you did.  Now you love waving.  Your latest trick.

You do not have any new teeth yet, but your molars sure are torturing you.  You have had blood blisters for over a week now and they still have not popped through.  I think all of us are over the teeth.

Yesterday, on your big day, your dad took off of work and we took you to the pool.  It had been several months since we had been to the pool for your swim classes and it was your first time in the activity pool.  You were very uncertain at first, but soon your were splashing in the fountains and kicking around having a blast.  It was so nice to see you enjoying yourself like that.  We were the only ones in the pool.  I guess not a lot of people want to go swimming when it is 32 degrees outside...  :). But we sure had fun.  We might need to make a few return trips in this off-season.  Your dad and I certainly enjoyed spending the day with you.  We had a nice lunch, lots of playtime, and good naps.  It was a great day.  You and I went through your usual bedtime routine and read part of your special birthday book, Dr. Seuss' Happy Birthday to You.  I hope that getting you a new book on your birthday every year is a tradition that I will continue.

I think that 'they' officially say that you are a toddler now.  Wow.  You are not walking yet, but you do let go and stand unsupported quite often now.  And you practically run while holding our hands.  Your gift from us was a train that you can push around and you are already practicing that.

You are napping now, but in just a short while we will go see your doctor for your one year well-visit and I will get to hear just how much you have grown.  I do not really need the stats to tell me that though, I see the changes in you every day.  It is astonishing to think how a year ago you were so small (relatively).  Even your dad was a bit sad yesterday thinking about how quickly the time is passing.  We love you so much, my monster.  We cannot wait to see what the next year with you brings us.

Mama

11 months.

Dear Beckett,

My little big man, this has been your BIGgest month yet!!!  You are mobile. It has been a rapid development and has required some fast adaptation on the part of your caretakers.  On September 30th, you army-crawled for the first time!!  We caught video of your new skill one day later.

You started pulling up with more regularity. Rapidly progressing from needing a solid object to pull yourself up to just needing to hold onto something for balance.

On October 2, our dear friends from Champaign came to visit, bringing their precious girl, Bailey, who had just taken her own first steps!  Since that moment, a light bulb went on and you have been unstoppable ever since.  We visited Brookfield Zoo again while they were here.  It was a mini-reunion of sorts for me as I got to spend time with two of the girls that I survived graduate school with, their husbands, and their kiddos.  It had been a very long time since we had all been together, but as we are all mommas now, we had plenty to discuss.  :)

On October 10th, you sat-up from a lying down position.  You started getting up on all fours regularly and your dad and I help our breaths waiting for that first real crawl.  For awhile, you would hover for a moment and then drop to your belly to move around.  On October 15th, while your dad and I played with you in your room before bed, we saw you crawl for the first time.  Just a few strides before you again dropped to your belly, but you had done it.  It was only a couple of days before you had crawling down, but why stop there?  Just one day after crawling for the first time, you also started cruising.  Omg.  To say that your dad and I were stunned would be a huge understatement!  You started cruising while holding on to your crib, the sofa, or the rail on the freezer drawer.  You were so proud of yourself.  It certainly has been fun to watch you figure things out, but. Definitely have to keep a better eye on you now!

You are not walking on your own yet, but I would not be surprised if it happens soon.  You will stand unassisted for a few seconds at a time.  And you have voluntarily let go of everything a couple times too. Once, you took one wobbly step towards me before falling into my arms.  For now, you are perfectly content holding onto our hands (sometimes just one of them) and wandering around.

Bedtime is now 8 pm.  We head upstairs around 7.  Play for awhile.  Then it's time to nurse, read some stories in the rocker, change into your jams, wash your face and brush your teeth.  We still sing every night before I kiss you goodnight and put you in your bed.  Most nights you go to sleep without an issue.  It is quite lovely not to have to fight with you.

It is a huge relief that we are down to just one feeding during the night.  You are still waking for that feed sometime between midnight and 2 am.  Then you will usually sleep until 5, when you nurse again and I can sometimes convince you to snooze with me for awhile longer.  Your sleep became challenging again once you really started figuring out how to move.  You just cannot turn your brain off, baby.  You sit-up and sometimes even stand-up in your crib without really even waking up.  We come save you and you just drift back off.  And yes, you still sleep with us after your first waking at night.  We all get more sleep that way.  I suspect this latest bout of overactive brain will continue until you get that walking thing down.

Your current favorite things include:
~giving kisses.  To us.  To your books with baby pictures in them.  To your stuffed animals.
~removing things from cabinets, especially my water bottle because it makes such a lovely sound when dropped on the tile floors
~finger puppet books--Hungry Caterpillar, Little Lamb, Dog I Love Best
~knocking down stacks of pretty much anything
~the Xfinity cable commercial
~making a surprised face when your dad or I say "boo!"
~singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star with the hand motions

In the coming month we will celebrate your first Halloween AND your first birthday.  Ohmygoodness.  Love you so much!

45 weeks.

Dear Beckett,

Today is a big day. Today is the first night since you came into my world that I will sleep away from you. In fact, for the next two nights, I will be without you. How silly that this is making me so sad.  I am so looking forward to my weekend with your dad in Galena to join in the wedding celebration of a dear friend. I even know that you will have tons of fun with your Oma.  But part of me doesn't want to go knowing that I will miss you so very much.

I may have snuggled you extra at bedtime last night.  I may have asked for an extra kiss--you do that now, give kisses. And I was less disappointed than usual when you woke at 2 and didn't want to go back in your crib.  Okay, I confess, I did not even try putting you back in your crib this morning.  I brought you straight into bed with me.  There.  And I was not even mad when you woke up at 5:30 like usual and wouldn't go back to sleep. I enjoyed your babbling.  And snuggles. And lingered in bed with you too long as I spent the next 2 hours rushing around the house like crazy trying to get myself and this house ready for our departure.

Now, I am finally sitting down.  And you are snoozing on the sofa next to me as I type this.  When you wakeup, we will nurse, I will finish packing and then I will hand you off to Oma and leave. This should not hurt my heart so much.

I read once somewhere, that when you have children, no matter how much you love your spouse, you will love your children even more than that.  I did not think this was possible since I'm pretty darn crazy about your dad. But it is true, I do love you more.  I love you enough that I want to protect your from this big world and the things that might hurt you.  I know that there are things in life that your dad and I deal with every day that are scary or hard. I cannot protect him from that, but I can protect you.  For now at least.

I do not expect you that you will get into a lot of trouble while we are gone!  I am just babbling now. Surprising myself at how hard a few days away will be for me. Thankfully, the wedding will keep me plenty busy!

This has been a crazy couple of weeks for you, little man.  You are SO unbelievably active right now.  Constantly wanting to walk, pulling yourself up not consistently, but regularly enough, army-crawling, wanting so badly to cruise, but afraid to let go of our hands.  You even get up on all fours quite frequently, causing your dad and I to hold our breath and wait for that first moment of real crawling. I am convinced it will happen while we are gone this weekend.  Please wait.  :). You are sitting up sometimes now too.  You have been practicing that in your sleep!  And have done it at least twice so far while you have been awake.  I cannot help but think that our recent visit from Bailey and our Champaign family has something to do with all of this....  Bailey had just taken her first steps when they came to visit and I think you know you need to work hard to keep up with her next time you see her!

Your first birthday is rapidly approaching.  Only 46 days to go.  How is that even possible?! Planing your party is the next big task and I will be jumping in full speed after this weekend.  I know you will never remember it, it is really a party for us and our family to celebrate... You!

My little big man, I love you so much.  I will never admit to the tears that I am sure will fall as I drive away from you in just a little while. I will miss you so much. This is only the first of many times you or I will have 'sleepovers' away from each other. I hope the first is the hardest.

Love you bunches, Mama

10 months.

Dear Beckett, my little big man, my pumpkin,

You are ten months old. I cannot believe it. I think I've said that every month!  But this month in particular, reality is setting in...  Soon, I will have a toddler, not a baby. We are starting to plan your first birthday party.  One year.  I still remember you squirming in my belly. We had another busy month, love.

At your 9 month doc appointment, your doctor gave us the okay for you to eat anything from our plates.  You are loving this.  You've tried all sorts of things.  Some of your more recent favorites include peas, turkey, blackberries, bananas, broccoli, still loving yogurt.  Actually, I don't think you've really hated anything.  We're also still breastfeeding, although you are slowly starting to drop feeds.  I don't really have a timeline in my mind for when we'll stop, we'll just see how it goes.   


I neglected to mark when it happened, but sometime between 6 and 9 months you transitioned from 3 naps to 2. This leaves our day a lot more open for outings.  We usually find a way to get out of the house at least once.  And most times in the afternoon we go out for a long walk.  I'm not sure how we'll stay busy once it gets cold!  Maybe more trips to the bookstore as you seemed to really enjoy that--even picking out a book for yourself (Peek-a-who?!).  

Some big dates...
August 29th.  You got up on all fours from sitting. You're still not crawling, but we've seen you up and rocking a few times.  You slide backwards quite well.  And have sort of started scooting on your butt once in awhile.  On this day you also gave me a kiss on the cheek when asked.  And managed to put yourself to sleep in crib when I left you awake at bedtime.  I thought you were teething last month and you were... But you still are and it got better in some ways (you're not nursing every two hours anymore!) but worse in others...  Bedtime went bad for a few days and we had to rock you to sleep.  Just another example of how things are constantly changing!  I can see those bad teeth.  They're not out yet, but almost, almost!

August 31st. Oma the great's 80th birthday.  We celebrated with most of the family at lunch.  Oma the great was in heaven surrounded by her 3 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.  We gave her a photo frame filled with digital photos of all of us.  I think it might have been the best gift she ever got.

September 1.  You pull to standing for the first time!!  You were so proud and immediately started dancing.  You've only managed this a few more times since, but I can see you trying to practice constantly.  No doubt this is a skill you will soon master.

Over Labor Day weekend, our town holds a festival every year.  We made several visits. You definitely enjoyed watching all the people.  By next year maybe you'll even get to go on some rides.

We also attended a family wedding in Lake Geneva.  This meant that Nona and G'pa visited from Ohio.  Unfortunately, we all had colds!  But we survived the weekend.  You attended the ceremony, looking completely adorable in an outfit crafted by your Oma (pinstripe pants and great little vest and bowtie).  And Grandma came along to keep an eye on you while your dad and I enjoyed the reception.  You also went on your first boat ride.  It was great fun for you to meet Nona's family.

We also celebrated my birthday this month.  You bought me a Camelbak water bottle. It's one of the most thoughtful gifts I've received.  It was a Monday, so we did not do anything special, but you and I had a good nap together that day and I recognized how lucky I was to have you and your dad in my life.

What else is new this month?  You have started playing peekaboo by covering your face and it just melts my heart when I see it.  Most recently, you have started doing this at naptime, which is less than ideal, but I can't help but smile!  You have become quite proficient at turning your bedroom light off at bedtime.  In fact, I think you look forward to it.  It's a slider and you manage to slide the little bar all the way down every night.  We have also started brushing your teeth before bed. 

You are still starting out the night in your crib.  After your first wake-up you come to bed with us.  You're still an early waker, but we've all kind of gotten used to it.

BIG changes are in store for us in the next couple of months.  I can just see it.
Love you bunches, kiddo.  Momma

9 months.

Dear Beckett,

9 months.  This has been a rough one.  I think you are becoming increasingly frustrated with your lack of mobility.  You're a great sitter.  You can pull up from my lap now.  And you wiggle your way around the floor in circles on your tummy.  You have started pushing up for longer periods, but you get so angry when I leave the room.  Very clingy. You have definitely been working on more teeth this month too and that made our nights really rough for awhile.  For a couple weeks there you were even back to waking every two hours again.  This was really rough on me...physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I felt as though all the progress we had made was lost!  But I must remember that baby sleep is a delicate thing...  And the progression is not a linear one.  The only way you would go back to sleep during those wake ups was to nurse.  So, that's what we did.  Things have gotten much better again.

Before that stretch of many wakings, you had your first night of what many would consider 'sleeping through the night'. You slept for 5 hours and 45 minutes straight in your crib!  And yes, I did wake up worried. But it was so wonderful to know you felt nice and safe there.  And I know we will get back there again.

The London Olympics took place this month.  Your dad and I LOVE the Olympics. They were on pretty much 24/7 in our house.  In fact, we had fallen asleep watching the games on the couches downstairs while you were blissfully snoozing those almost 6 hours in your crib.

We spent more time at the park in the afternoons this month.  And I have gotten you to enjoy the swings again--yay!  You took your 2nd trip to Brookfield Zoo with dad and I.  We were there when the zoo opened--us and all the other parents with nothing to do that day. You were really enjoying some of the animals this time.  We were amazed that you were able to pick out the bats hanging from the ceiling.  You also loved the fish exhibits.

Our town had its annual German festival also.  Which meant you got to experience your first "Oompa band". You were quite the hit in your Germany tank and matching shorts and you did like the music.  Your dad and I liked the sausages and pretzels as well.  Next year you'll get to taste them too!

Favorite toys: Building blocks. We stack 'em, you knock 'em down. Things that shake and make noise. Two small empty plastic (wine) bottles (I know, classy). Great for stacking, banging, and throwing. Your activity cube is a new favorite this month also, especially the doors.

Favorite games: Knocking down blocks. Sliding off the couch. Watching dad and I puff up our cheeks makes you giggle like crazy. Walking while holding our hands. Horsey rides. I think taking baths is also a game to you. Hiding on the half wall.

Nine month stats: 21 lbs, 4 ounces. 30 inches tall. 19 inch head. Wow. Still 8 teeth, but more coming... Hopefully this next month! 9 month clothes are too short, so you're mostly in 12 month stuff, but also some 18 and, uh, even a couple 2T things... Sizes vary so much by brand!! But yeah, you're a big little guy.

I feel as though you could crawl or start standing at any moment. Your balance is getting better and better. I can't believe that we have started thinking about your first birthday party.

Tons of love.