Things they never told you about having a second baby.

Just because you know what to expect from labor does not make it easier.

You will wonder, after a second unplanned c-section, if everything you are feeling is normal. Mostly because, just like everyone says you will, you have forgotten the bad stuff from the first time around. You will doubt you will ever feel normal again. (I am mostly there!)

You will wonder how you could possibly love *another* little person as much as you love your first. If you will love the new one in the same way. Yes and no. Your heart will grow, grinch-like, and you will love your new baby just as much, but differently, because they are a different person from your first.

You will also wonder if you did the right thing by having another, depriving your first of all your focus. That fear will be wiped clean the first time you witness your oldest kiss your baby on the head and say 'love you too.' Oh sure, he has also been squeezed too hard, unintentionally hit with things (and I am certain will also be hit intentionally at some point), and been told to go away, but that one kiss confirms that these kids will love each other. Like brothers should.

Your first illness as a whole household will make you question yourself again. Being sick and having to take care of two sick kids is the pits.

You will realize that newborns are EASY compared to toddlers. Seriously! Newborns do not need entertainment. They need to eat, sleep, and poop. Literally. When I had my first I remember being so overwhelmed. Now I am still overwhelmed, but I realize how portable the newbie is. Just haul him along! He (probably) will not complain.

You will stress a lot less about your second and that is a very good thing. Just go with the flow.

You will love and hate moments of your life and that is okay. You may wish for your children to just go away at times. Time will pass ridiculously slowly and ridiculously fast at the same time. And it will all be amazing.

Baby Zwei, first report.

Dear Keaton,

You are one two months old. Poor second child. :( If has been a rollercoaster of a two months, but it has mostly been good. I will save the discussion of my own recovery for another post that I will hopefully someday get around to writing. For now, I will talk about you.

You are awesome and adorable. As if there were any doubt. You came into this world weighing less than your older brother, but, not wanting to be outdone already?, quickly surpassed his weight by nursing and gaining like a champ. You weighed more than he did by your one month appointment. I was so impressed with you. Maybe that fact goes hand in hand with the fact that you have been a better sleeper than your brother as well. I am still waiting for this to change dramatically and am trying just to enjoy it while it lasts. At two months old, you are sleeping in your bassinet and regularly giving me two three hour stretches of sleep a night. You nurse and go back to sleep easily. I was stunned when we could just put you down. After Beckett, I never would have believed that was possible. It is really quite shocking how different babies can be.

You love to smile and are quite the charmer already. You do have a 'fussy time' in the evening hours, but it is nothing too difficult to deal with most nights. You have recently started finding your real voice and have started contributing goos and gahs to our conversations.

Your brother is intrigued by you. He brings you your blanket, tries to give you his cars, kisses your head constantly. At the same time, he realizes that whoever is holding you is fairly useless to him so we will regularly get requests of ' no, no Keaton' when he wants to play and we go to pick you up. I cannot wait until you can play together!

We have not gone out much since the weather this winter has been brutally cold, but I have nursed you in public once already--something I never did with your brother. This past week, we got a couple nice days and managed to get the whole family out for a walk! You in the Ergo, Beck in the stroller, and Lita with dad. It was awesome to do something so normal and see that it could work.

You have already survived your first cold. Your brother shared with you and I both. You got the mildest case, but we were all pretty miserable for a couple days.

You still have beautiful blue eyes and I hope they hold. I am selfish and want you to have a piece of mommy that is visible to all.

I am so proud and feel so lucky to have you in our family. Love you bunches, Mama