Full disclosure: third trimester

I know, I know, I'm still *in* my third trimester.  Like I need reminding.  But I plan on doing a Full Disclosure of the labor and delivery as well, so I figured I should get this one out of the way while it's all good and fresh.  

Third trimester.  Also known as the time when you'll wonder how you could possibly get any bigger.  Babies really pack on the pounds at this stage.  As much as half a pound a week!  Your own weight gain can vary... mine has mostly leveled off for right now.  I think because I'm eating smaller more frequent snacks/meals.  That's because giant babies don't leave much room for your stomach and digestive tract.

Which means that I have had my first run-ins with acid reflux.  Eating anything a few hours before bed means I'll wake up at some point with a burning throat.  Gross.  But I need to eat!  I'm hungry...  :(  Stock up on the Tums now.

While we're talking about digestion, let me once again mention: Constipation.  Still, again, whatever.  My advice to you is this: if you feel the urge, go!  I don't care where you are; work, shopping, whatever, just go.  You'll feel better.  Be forewarned though, you may also be dealing with gas.  Like old lady, I fart every time I pee without even knowing that it's coming, gas.  So much fun!

Giant babies also don't leave a lot of room for your lungs.  You'll probably learn what it feels like to have asthma at this point.  I did.  Walking up the stairs is a huge challenge at 34 weeks.  Leaning too far back in a chair or sofa is also uncomfortable.

Other side effects of getting bigger...

~Shoes with laces are no longer your friends.  Socks are tricky too.
~Good luck shaving.
~Stretch marks.  I made it to nearly 32 weeks until I discovered my first ones.  It's true what they say, they itch.  A lot.  :(
~RBS.  Restless body syndrome.  I think this is just because it's so darn hard to get comfortable, but every night around 7 pm or so, I just start getting stir crazy and start pacing the house looking for stuff to do.  I mostly just feel the need to move around because sitting uncomfortable, but walking is tiring, so...  yeah.
~Sleep becomes a luxury.  I'm a girl that LOVES my sleep.  I would choose sleep over a lot of things in life.  Sleeping sucks right now.  Again, it's hard to get comfortable.  Turning over is not only difficult, but also somewhat painful as your belly crushes you for a moment before flopping to the other side.  And despite the fact that you're completely exhausted, you may find yourself wide awake.  At least several nights a week, I find myself awake from 1 am to 3 am.  Either tossing and turning.  Or reading a book.  Or watching TV.  Or painting plaster cast figures for the upcoming holidays.  I needed something to do with my time, okay?!

If you're like me, you always wondered why pregnant women rub their bellies so damn much.  Well, you'll do it too.  I am doing it constantly.  It's not to try to bond with baby though, at least not in my case.  In my case it's mostly to push those little hands/feet/knees/elbows back in when they jab me unexpectedly. 


Other fun things:
~your boobies may start leaking colostrum now.  Mine haven't yet... but I hear they could.
~you may be dealing with swelling in your hands and feet or everywhere!  I've had a few bouts of minor swelling in my feet after particularly long work days, but nothing serious yet.  And my wedding ring still fits!
~if this is your first, you'll probably have a baby shower or two at this point and fair warning again... 
your family and/or friends and/or family's friends will make stupid comments.  You'd think they'd know better, but they don't.  They may go on about how huge you are.  Or how terrible their child's birth was.  Or, gee, you are going to stop working, aren't you?!  Ignore them.  Smile.  Say you're undecided or thank them for sharing.  And then use your faulty bladder as an excuse to escape. 

Finally, Sex.  I won't lie, the frequency of your escapades is likely decreasing by now...  Sad, but true.  Because you're too damn exhausted and you probably feel like a blimp.  And your partner is too busy trying to pick up your slack around the house AND get everything ready for the baby's arrival on top of working a full day.  But, if you can get it, it's still good, so go for it.  :)

And that, friends, is the third trimester.  See all that you have to look forward to?!