So! Now that the "big secret" is out, I can share all the drafts that I have saved. Fair warning that there will be one more drama-filled post that I wrote immediately following The Phone Call. It all seems blown out of proportion now. I mean, 1 in 68, no big, right? But I assure, those odds are far more ominous when it is YOU that are facing them.
Dear Baby Zwei,
It was two days after Mother's Day when we found out about you. I had been suspicious for a couple days, but between your dad's birthday, Mother's Day, and spending a day with Oma, I did not have time to get any answers. It was a Tuesday evening when I took the test. Your dad had just come home from work, we were dropping my car off to be repaired, your brother was in his usual pre-dinner fussy phase. I needed to just get away for a moment. Little did I know how much that moment would change our future.
The test was positive. Blaringly so. Not a doubt.
Whoa.
Your dad and I had discussed the possibility of having another baby in the not so distant future, but I was so not prepared for this. I cried, Baby. Not because I was sad, but because I was so scared. Scared for you. Scared for your brother. Scared that I could not, *would not* be a good enough momma for both of you. Scared because those early days are hard, Baby. On everyone. Your dad just smiled at me. He reminded me that we wanted this. We DO want this. *I* do want this. And I know that somehow, someway, it will all be alright.
I am already getting excited at the thought of watching you and your brother grow-up together. I truly feel like giving Beck a sibling is a wonderful gift.
It will be awhile still before I go to the doctor. For right now, your dad and I are the only ones that know, but I am not sure how long my belly will keep our secret. It is going to be a very interesting year, little one.
Love, momma
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