I recently learned that one of my college girlfriends is expecting her first child in May, a girl! I excitedly congratulated and did what everyone does... Offered advice. Being that I am just getting through the newborn phase myself, things are fresh in my mind and I may have convinced myself that I am more qualified than most to be doing so. One of the things that I warned her about, that no one told me, is just how difficult breastfeeding can be. I knew that it couldn't be as simple as just hold 'em up and let 'em suck, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
She asked for some more specifics, so, if I were to give a newbie some advice, I would say:
It will be harder than you imagine. No one prepares you for this. You spend all this time and energy getting ready for/worrying about labor. A new challenge awaits.
If your hospital has a lactation consultant on hand, meet with them as often as you can. Get them to teach you different positions and try to work on that latch.
Hit up the breastfeeding aisle while you are shopping for things to add to your hospital bag. Purchase some nipple cream, nipple shields and those soothing gel things. You'll need them. If I hadn't gotten my hands on some nipple shields, thanks to the advice of Champaign girlfriend, I think I would have quit somewhere around week 2.
When it comes to the advice of not giving a bottle or pacifier for the first month... I didn't and right now, looking back, I'm so glad. Yes, it's hard. And exhausting when it all depends on you. But. But your milk supply is really determined by supply and demand. The higher that initial demand, the more milk those things are gonna produce. This is also why we chose to have the baby "room in" with us at the hospital. When he was hungry, I fed him. At all hours. The nurses wanted to take him to the nursery, but he stayed with us. It turns out that there is such a thing as too much supply and I've dealt with that too, but that didn't come into play until weeks later. For those initial days, the more sucking, the faster your milk comes in, the happier the baby. And for those first weeks, the more feedings, the more milk you will produce, the happier the baby.
Would it be easier to give bottles occasionally? Of course! And if you have the same experience I did, your family will constantly be asking to feed the baby anyway. I was recovering from a c-section during the first 6 weeks or so, so my job was to lay in bed, sleep when possible and feed the baby when he was brought to me. Because I birthed a giant, I wasn't supposed to be carrying him around anyway. Yeah, that was hard emotionally too because I felt like I was just a milk machine. But, again, now looking back, it was totally worth it. Back to bottles, my outlook was that if we were going to feed a bottle, I should be pumping during that time anyway (supply and demand), so its not like the bottle was saving ME any work. I've heard of people doing bottles in the first month quite successfully. And I've heard of others where baby develops a bottle preference and won't go back. Or they don't end up producing enough to breastfeed exclusively. It really depends on you and baby.
After 6 weeks, Dad started feeding him a nightly bottle of formula. I decided to do the formula for two reasons. 1) It gave me a chance to get used to pumping without the pressure of having to produce enough or the baby goes hungry. That milk got put in the freezer because 2) I wasn't sure if I would be returning to work and wanted to start building up a supply. This way, I also knew that if I couldn't pump enough for whatever reason, baby would also accept formula. By the time I went back to work, I had quite the freezer stash.
It's also important to note that people who have no experience with breastfeeding or who have forgotten all that is involved will try to be helpful by saying such things as... "Surely baby can't be hungry again?!" (they probably are). "It shouldn't hurt." (it might for awhile, but it will get better!). And my personal favorite "why don't you just give a bottle" which really annoyed me because I felt like it was an attack against my personal decision to breastfeed. It can be really hard, but maybe for you it will be easy, who knows? It depends on you and your baby. I'd imagine that just like every labor is different, every breastfeeding experience is different.
A quick word on schedules... You can't schedule a baby. Even at four months old, I know vaguely when my kid is gonna be hungry, but it might be different that day. With your newborn, you may be feeding every two hours (or less) for several weeks!!! And keep in mind that feedings are timed from the start of one to the start of the next. If baby is feeding for 30 minutes, you may only have an hour before the next feeding starts. It will get better. Just when you think you can't possibly do it anymore, things will start spacing out. And then, you'll hit a growth spurt and your every three hour feedings will go back to every 90 minutes again for a day or two. It happens and it's normal!!!
Perhaps most importantly, know who you can call to ask questions!! Who you can call when you feel like it's all going wrong. There was no one in my family I could ask. Turns out I was formula fed (I had always assumed I was breastfed), my aunt breastfed one of her kids, but it was so long ago she didn't remember, and my cousin was good for some questions, but had only breastfed for three months, so even she had a different opinion on things (give a bottle). I called Champaign girlfriend, my old boss, and even contacted a La Leche League member with questions at one point. Help is out there, even if it's just emotional support.
It is worth it. Another big plus, it's free!!! But, if things, don't work out, for *whatever* reason, there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula.
Cow, out.
She asked for some more specifics, so, if I were to give a newbie some advice, I would say:
It will be harder than you imagine. No one prepares you for this. You spend all this time and energy getting ready for/worrying about labor. A new challenge awaits.
If your hospital has a lactation consultant on hand, meet with them as often as you can. Get them to teach you different positions and try to work on that latch.
Hit up the breastfeeding aisle while you are shopping for things to add to your hospital bag. Purchase some nipple cream, nipple shields and those soothing gel things. You'll need them. If I hadn't gotten my hands on some nipple shields, thanks to the advice of Champaign girlfriend, I think I would have quit somewhere around week 2.
When it comes to the advice of not giving a bottle or pacifier for the first month... I didn't and right now, looking back, I'm so glad. Yes, it's hard. And exhausting when it all depends on you. But. But your milk supply is really determined by supply and demand. The higher that initial demand, the more milk those things are gonna produce. This is also why we chose to have the baby "room in" with us at the hospital. When he was hungry, I fed him. At all hours. The nurses wanted to take him to the nursery, but he stayed with us. It turns out that there is such a thing as too much supply and I've dealt with that too, but that didn't come into play until weeks later. For those initial days, the more sucking, the faster your milk comes in, the happier the baby. And for those first weeks, the more feedings, the more milk you will produce, the happier the baby.
Would it be easier to give bottles occasionally? Of course! And if you have the same experience I did, your family will constantly be asking to feed the baby anyway. I was recovering from a c-section during the first 6 weeks or so, so my job was to lay in bed, sleep when possible and feed the baby when he was brought to me. Because I birthed a giant, I wasn't supposed to be carrying him around anyway. Yeah, that was hard emotionally too because I felt like I was just a milk machine. But, again, now looking back, it was totally worth it. Back to bottles, my outlook was that if we were going to feed a bottle, I should be pumping during that time anyway (supply and demand), so its not like the bottle was saving ME any work. I've heard of people doing bottles in the first month quite successfully. And I've heard of others where baby develops a bottle preference and won't go back. Or they don't end up producing enough to breastfeed exclusively. It really depends on you and baby.
After 6 weeks, Dad started feeding him a nightly bottle of formula. I decided to do the formula for two reasons. 1) It gave me a chance to get used to pumping without the pressure of having to produce enough or the baby goes hungry. That milk got put in the freezer because 2) I wasn't sure if I would be returning to work and wanted to start building up a supply. This way, I also knew that if I couldn't pump enough for whatever reason, baby would also accept formula. By the time I went back to work, I had quite the freezer stash.
It's also important to note that people who have no experience with breastfeeding or who have forgotten all that is involved will try to be helpful by saying such things as... "Surely baby can't be hungry again?!" (they probably are). "It shouldn't hurt." (it might for awhile, but it will get better!). And my personal favorite "why don't you just give a bottle" which really annoyed me because I felt like it was an attack against my personal decision to breastfeed. It can be really hard, but maybe for you it will be easy, who knows? It depends on you and your baby. I'd imagine that just like every labor is different, every breastfeeding experience is different.
A quick word on schedules... You can't schedule a baby. Even at four months old, I know vaguely when my kid is gonna be hungry, but it might be different that day. With your newborn, you may be feeding every two hours (or less) for several weeks!!! And keep in mind that feedings are timed from the start of one to the start of the next. If baby is feeding for 30 minutes, you may only have an hour before the next feeding starts. It will get better. Just when you think you can't possibly do it anymore, things will start spacing out. And then, you'll hit a growth spurt and your every three hour feedings will go back to every 90 minutes again for a day or two. It happens and it's normal!!!
Perhaps most importantly, know who you can call to ask questions!! Who you can call when you feel like it's all going wrong. There was no one in my family I could ask. Turns out I was formula fed (I had always assumed I was breastfed), my aunt breastfed one of her kids, but it was so long ago she didn't remember, and my cousin was good for some questions, but had only breastfed for three months, so even she had a different opinion on things (give a bottle). I called Champaign girlfriend, my old boss, and even contacted a La Leche League member with questions at one point. Help is out there, even if it's just emotional support.
It is worth it. Another big plus, it's free!!! But, if things, don't work out, for *whatever* reason, there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula.
Cow, out.
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