Dogs and kids.

I have been thinking about writing a post about this for awhile now. It is something that I consider extremely important and, oftentimes, extremely overlooked. I am talking about dog and child safety.

When I first started writing this blog, a lot of the posts focused on my dog, Lita.
As with any shelter dog, she came with baggage. We had no idea of her experiences before she came to live with us. When we brought her home I started doing a lot of research into training methods to help her. We worked with an excellent trainer for a long time. We have made a great deal of progress with Lita. And have worked very hard to get here. When I learned that I was pregnant, I was overjoyed. But also a little nervous. Nervous about how our dog would react. Does that sound crazy?

My dog is not my baby, but she a part of my family. She trusts me. I have worked hard to earn that trust. She trusts that when I am with her she is safe and I will not put her in an unsafe situation. I will not ask her to do something that she cannot handle. I knew when I learned that I was pregnant, that we would have to work hard to maintain that trust. I knew that I would expect my child to respect Lita and to have boundaries when it comes to interactions with her. I knew that for both of their safeties, they would not be left unsupervised together. Ever.

We have all seen pictures in a forwarded email or shared on Facebook of a dog with a baby propped next to them. Or maybe it's a smiling child, giving a dog a hug. The dog is sitting there with eyes carefully averted away from the small hands. Maybe its ears are back. Or its feet are tense. Subtle, subtle cues. Indicating that all is not well. Before I knew enough to detect those cues, I used to think those photos were cute too. Alternatively, maybe you have heard a friend or family member say proudly "Those kids can do anything to that dog!" Again, I used to think that was a good thing.

Now, as a relatively knowledgable dog owner AND as a parent, those things make me cringe.

I believe that it is children that need to be taught to interact properly with animals and not the other way around. They should learn that it is not okay to pull a dog's ears or tail. To pet them gently. That most dogs do not like hugs. To leave them alone while they are eating and when they are in their bed. A dog needs a safe place where they can escape. Obviously, very small children cannot understand the rules. It falls on the parents to enforce them. These rules are all in place in our house. They may seem extreme to some. Those same people that say 'my kids can do anything to our dog.' There are two problems with this scenario.

1) Are you sure your dog is okay with what it happening? Have you really watched? Have you watched the eyes, ears, tail, toes? One concept that I learned from my training experience with my own dog is the idea of The Bank. All positive experiences add to The Bank, while negative ones take away. You want to keep adding to The Bank, so, when you least expect it, and you are in a bad situation, your dog will have something to draw on. To allow YOU make a choice for him. When The Bank is empty, the dog is forced to make a choice. Not all dogs will reach a breaking point in their tolerance levels, but many will. Those negative interactions with kids subtract from The Bank. The dog is also learning that interactions with the kids mean uncomfortable things and no one will stop it. Kids become a scary thing. Does he continue to just sit there and take it or stop it himself? The key to peaceful family interactions is not having to put your dog in the situation to make that decision in the first place. If every situation is monitored and only good things happen during those interactions, then, should it ever be needed!, The Bank will be good and full and while your dog may get surprised by an random negative encounter, he will not feel a need to make a decision.

2) Kids generalize. If they treat their own dog in a certain way, giving hugs for example, they will think that they can hug all dogs. Wow. I cannot tell you how many kids have come up to my dog and just stuck their hands in her face or tried to hug her. And I cannot emphasize enough how dangerous this is!! Some dogs just are not around kids a lot and can be afraid of them. After all, kids are noisy and unpredictable and may be at the perfect height to look a dog in the eye. Some dogs have already had bad experiences with kids. Either way, you just cannot know. Children (or parents!) should ALWAYS ask before petting an unknown dog. And they should be taught proper dog manners--do not reach over their head, let them come to you, etc.

I am hopeful that my son will grow up with a proper respect for our dog and for animals in general. As he gets older, I plan to give him added responsibility when it comes to Lita. He will be able to feed her and let her outside. For now, I will continue to monitor interactions, making them as positive as possible for both of them!