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It’s hard to come out of a place of resentment, and it takes practice (just like everything). Practice forgiving about small, everyday things. You can always non-forgive later. Who and what are you ready to let go of resentment toward?
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Oooo... I'm a grudge-holder... or at least a forgive but not forget type, so this is one is going to be the toughest yet!
I try really hard to be polite, understanding and accepting of other people, I still fail sometimes of course, but at least I try. So it drives me crazy when other people are judgmental, inconsiderate or rude. Even as something as simple as not holding the door for someone else or cutting me off in traffics grates my nerves and I find myself wondering how one person could think they are so much more important than everyone else. Sir, you are putting everyone's safety at risk by trying to compose an email on your Blackberry doing 75 mph on the highway, please stop. It can wait.
I digress...
Forgiveness. It's a tough thing. Mostly, I need to recognize that people make mistakes, including myself. Some mistakes have bigger repercussions than others. There are definitely some minor things that I can and need to let go of!
People who I am ready to forgive, to practice: * The friend who, after 10 years with my boyfriend, addressed my invitation to her wedding as 'Firstname Lastname and Guest' * All the people this Holiday season who are too rushed to hold a door open * My family for insisting on certain things at my wedding * My former boyfriend who pressured me (I never gave in) * My best friend who suddenly stopped speaking to me in high school in favor of hanging out with cooler kids * My cousin for teasing me in front of her friends growing up * The boy who told me "just drop [the arrow] so the rest of us can go" when I was struggling with archery in 6th grade (I went on to be one of the best in the class)
People who I am not yet ready to forgive: * The priest at my (former) church who implied to my 12-year old self that my family and I were going to a bad place for not attending mass every Sunday * One of my graduate advisers for playing myself and the other graduate students against one another * The strangers at comic conventions who would slap my butt while they rushed past or lean a little too close...pervs *
Some of these things are very minor. Others have resulted in the end of friendships, faith, innocence. They have changed me. I no longer attend church. I lost two of those friends up there, have gotten back in touch and am friendly with the former boyfriend and am now very close with my cousin. I realize that people are motivated by their own greed/desires and don't always take into account the feelings of others. But on that forgiveness list, I don't think any of those people (except maybe that jerk in 6th grade) were out to hurt me. I'm sure that I have inadvertently hurt people too. And so, I let it go.
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