There are moments in life when you can feel the emotion welling up inside you, the tears creeping their way out of the corners of your eyes, and you can do nothing to stop them. I had one of those moments on the way home from class last night. Here's the thing though... class went pretty darn well! Once again, no outbursts, no significant reactions. We even survived and did pretty well with some brief parallel walking sessions with another dog.
However, Lita continues to be SO wound up, SO excited, SO overstimulated that every time we try a walking exercise it is a struggle. Hell, just getting her in the front door is difficult as she pulls and huffs and puffs her way towards the building. On top of that, actually feeding her treats is a total nightmare. I can't even count the number of times my poor fingies were nipped and grabbed last night. I *know* that she is not doing it on purpose--there are times at home when she's not excited that she'll grab a bit reaching for a treat thanks to that bully underbite--but that doesn't make it hurt any less or make it any less frustrating.
We are practicing the foundation loose leash walking skills at home. She is good at giving attention and even has a nice default sit. The "Find my Face" game is going well. She is comfortable walking and eating in the "heel" position in the house, without a leash on. Our next step is to add the leash in the house without distractions and then move out to the backyard, the driveway, the sidewalk, and then, finally (maybe) walks around the neighborhood. Even out on walks though, she does not pull anywhere NEAR the amount or with the force of what she is doing during class. Of course not, it's a different environment, there are DOGS around. Of course it's different. But how to fix it? Ignore it for now and focus on the fact that she's not trying to EAT the dogs? That's kind of what we've been doing to this point as the reactivity was more of a concern to me than having the most polite leash manners. But our trainer called us out last night and specifically told us "you need to practice loose leash." *sigh* We're trying.
Sort of.
Being a tree doesn't work. And in the interest of getting Lita some exercise I know we put up with more pulling on walks than we should. But, again, she's really not that bad in her own neighborhood.
Anyway, the point is... that after class last night, despite the fact that our dog was reasonably well-mannered and had no reactions, I felt like we were the "bad dog." And it's mostly because I can't handle her by myself. That's what it comes down to... at class right now, my Husband holds the leashes, I do the clicking and feeding. I've tried doing both and she can just drag me around. SO frustrating. NONE of the other dogs have this issue. If anything, they all seem SO well behaved on a leash! And then we were done and we got in the car and I noticed that the Elizabethan collar that Lita has been wearing for a week and a half while we're at work to allow her face to fully heal has caused 3 small abscesses on her neck where the edges rub her. And her feet are red and blistered. And she has hives on one of her back legs and her stomach is red and irritated. And my Husband told me he wouldn't be able to make it to class next week because he'd be traveling for work for 4 days. And I knew all these things before, but now they were just running through my brain and I felt like a failure. And that's when the tears started coming.
Ohmidog, how am I ever going to be able to handle this on my own?!?! It's too much. It's just too much. My Husband actually said "You did good tonight." And I just shook my head, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. So I cried. And I mumbled. And I gasped. I think my Husband thought I was seriously ill, but I managed to choke out "I'm disappointed." Over-reaction much? Heck yeah. But sometimes, just sometimes, you *need* to have a good cry.
Don't get me wrong, I am still terrified at the premise of showing up at that class alone next week. I fear I will emerge with freshly gnawed fingies and bruised palms from clutching leashes so tightly. The good news is that my emotional breakdown has caused the Husband to recognize that loose leash walking is something that we really do need to work on. Like I said, on walks recently we've been more concerned with not reacting and so we have been shoving her favorite squeaky toy in her mouth, which has been working brilliantly! But it is only a management device and not actual training--meaning, we take away that chicken and we're back to an excitable, pulling pooch (although still not to the level we've seen in class).
And so, for the next 6 days, Lita will be attending the amateur version of loose leash walking bootcamp. We already know that the whole "become a tree" thing doesn't work with her--I think she could ignore us for days. So we're going to focus on some other techniques--walking around cones, walking calmly towards a toy or food item, penalty yards for pulling, changing directions, clicking and treating when she's paying attention to us and walking where she should be. This is going to be a *real* challenge for us. Our other homework for the class is working on stay (thankfully, she's pretty good at this already) and teaching "get back," where the dog will move behind you and sit behind your legs. A voluntary body block kind of position. Busy, busy week.
Hopefully I can start viewing this more as a personal challenge and less as something I need to just get through. And I really need to remember the great progress that we have made. It's just so easy to forget all of the positive in a moment of disappointment.
So here: a list of things that Lita has learned....
~Sit/default sit
~Down
~Stay
~working on Backup
~Find It
~Get him (for getting Kong)
~Touch
~Go to your spot, which has transitioned to being cued just by picking up her food bowl, where she sits and waits for her meals before being released
~Go to bed
~Tug--get it and give
~going up the stairs backwards!!!
~check ins
~learning the look at that game
That's a lot! Look out world, here we come (hopefully with a loose leash)!
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